Earthquake - Expensive Church

  • Season 7 , Ep 5
  • 03/06/2003
  • Views: 20,780

You might be better off holding onto your money until you bump into God. (1:23)

Earthquake: USED TO GO

TO CHURCH, BUT CHURCH GETTING

TOO EXPENSIVE.

THE COVER CHARGE IS A BITCH.

I WENT ONE SUNDAY THEY WAS

PASSING AROUND EIGHT,

NINE PLATES.

I JUST PULLED MY OWN PLATE OUT,

PASS THAT AROUND.

"THAT'S FOR EARTHQUAKE,

I'M SHORT THIS WEEK.

I NEED SOME HELP.

LOOK HERE, MRS. JONES, YOU GET

HELP EVERY WEEK, LET SOMEBODY

ELSE IN THE CONGREGATION GET

SOME HELP."

I READ THE BIBLE, I KNOW I GOT

TO PAY MY TIES, MY 10 PERCENT.

I'LL GIVE GOD HIM WHEN I SEE

HIM.

(LAUGHTER)

AND IF HE ASKED ME WHY I WAS

HOLDING ON TO IT I'LL SAY THERE

WAS A LOT OF FALSE PROPHETS

ON EARTH.

I AIN'T NO WHO TO GIVE YOUR

MONEY TO.

AND I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE IT

TO THE WRONG PERSON AND STILL

OWE YOU WHEN I GOT UP HERE.

AND AIN'T NO SENSE OF PAYING

IF I DIDN'T MAKE THE LIST.

'CAUSE I'M GONNA NEED THAT MONEY

FOR COLD WATER AND AIR

CONDITIONERS.

NOW THAT'S A TRUE BALLER.

YOU IN HELL WITH COLD WATER AND

AIR CONDITIONER, YOU A BALLER.

I USED TO BE A CATHOLIC BUT I--

YOU KNOW, WE HAD A LOT OF

PROBLEMS.

BUT I KNEW THE CATHOLIC CHURCH

HAD PROBLEMS A LONG TIME AGO.

WHEN I SEEN THE POPE WENT TO

ST. LOUIS IN A BULLET-PROOF

LIMO.

I'M LIKE "DAMN,

WHERE'S HIS FAITH?"

(LAUGHTER)

HE'S GOD RIGHT HAND MAN,

HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN

NO LIMO LIKE HE PUFFY.

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

BLESSING PEOPLE OUT THE SUNROOF,

HE NEEDS WATER?

WHO NEEDS BREAD?

WELL, YOU GOT TO KEEP IT REAL.

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