Bobby Bottleservice - Gigolo House Auditions

  • Season 2 , Ep 6
  • 02/18/2014
  • Views: 6,313

The Gigolo House auditions become contentious when Eagle Wing picks Farley to fill the open position. (2:55)

FOR A NEW MEMBERHERE AT GIGOLO HOUSE

TO REPLACE HAMMER,ALL RIGHT?

FIRST CANDIDATE.LET'S GO!

- BRO, STRAIGHT-UPMAN-TO-MAN QUESTION:

ARE YOU AN ARCHITECT?

- YES.- NEXT CANDIDATE!

- YOUR WIFE AND YOU HIREDPETER TO [bleep]?

- I MEAN, YEAH,THAT'S A SPIN ON IT, SURE.

- YOU CAN BE, LIKE, A WEIRDO GUYIN THE CREW.

- FAVORITE FAST AND THE FURIOUS MOVIE.

- UH, 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS.

- WRONG. FAST FIVE.NEXT!

- I'M GETTING SILHOUETTE.- ♪ WHOA, OOH, WHOA

- HI.I'M FARLEY.

- LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION,FARLEY.

- WHAT, BOBBY? WHAT?

- OKAY, FINE,YOU WANNA START WITH ME

RIGHT NOWIN FRONT OF EVERYBODY?

- IT'S NOTALL ABOUT YOU, BOBBY.

- STUPID, BOBBY.

- THIS IS ABOUTTHIS BEAUTIFUL SPECIMEN

THAT WANTS TO BEA GIGOLETTE.

- I WANNA BEA STRAIGHT-UP GIGOLO.

THAT'S WHATI'M TALKING ABOUT.

I WANNA BE LIKEONE OF YOU.

I GREW UPWITH MANY BROTHERS.

AND, LIKE, I WATCHED THEM[bleep] THEIR GIRLFRIENDS

THROUGH A KEYHOLE.

AND I WAS LIKE,"I KNOW WHAT THEY LIKE

AND I KNOW WHAT MEN NEED."

- BEFORE WE GET ANY FURTHER,DO YOU HAVE A RESUME FOR US?

- UM, I THINKI BROUGHT MY RESUME...

- OKAY.- AND IT'S RIGHT HERE.

- WHERE?- SO BASICALLY,

IF YOU DON'T SEE A RESUME

IN FRONT OF YOURIGHT NOW,

THEN YOU'RE BASICALLYMAJORLY TRIPPING.

- MANY WOMEN ARE LOOKINGTO LOCK DOWN A HUSBAND,

SOMEBODY REAL, A BOYFRIEND.

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR NOTHINGBUT CASUAL SEX,

A CYCLE OF NONSTOP [bleep]IN YOUR HOLES?

- I'M COMFORTABLE WITH THATVERY MUCH SO.

THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOBODYIN MY LIFE

THAT I EVER WOULD HAVEFEELINGS FOR EVER AGAIN

'CAUSE I'M [bleep]ING DONEWITH FEELINGS.

- REALLY?- AND RIGHT NOW,

FROM WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH,

I'M BASICALLY LIKE A MACHINEAT THIS POINT.

- WHAT ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT?

- UGH, YOU RUIN EVERYTHINGI TRY TO DO.

WHENEVER I TRYTO MAKE SOMETHING OF MYSELF,

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE RIGHT THERETRYING TO CUT ME DOWN.

- I JUST WANNA BUILD YOU UP.

- WHAT?- I JUST WANNA BUILD YOU UP.

- BOBBY, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOUWHEN YOU CRYIN'

90% OF THE TIME.

- I DON'T CRY.- HE CRIES A LOT.

- NONSTOP.

IT'S LIKE LITTLE BOY BLUEOR SOME [bleep].

- OKAY, I THINKWE'VE HEARD ENOUGH.

YOU EMBODYALL OF THE ATTRIBUTES

THAT IT TAKES TO BEA GIGOLO.

SHE IS BEAUTIFUL,SHE IS INTELLIGENT,

AND SHE IS GOOD TO GOSEXUALLY.

WELCOME TO GIGOLO HOUSE.

- [giggles][applause]

THANK YOU.- NO, BRO, VETO, BRO.

- SO THEN BOBBYSTARTS SAYING

LIKE WHAT I CANAND CANNOT DO

BEIN' THAT I AM A WOMAN.

HOW ABOUT HULLARY CLINTON?

- BRO, IF THERE WEREN'TA GIGOLO CODE,

I WOULD STRAIGHT-UPPUNCH YOU IN THE--

- BRO, I DON'T GIVE A [bleep]ABOUT THE CODE.

I WILL END YOU.

- HOW ABOUT YOU FORGETTHE CODE

AND JUST HIT HIMIN HIS STUPID FACE?

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