Zombie Mentor

  • Season 2 , Ep 204
  • 04/11/2012
  • Views: 18,207

Randall is more interested in masturbation than in new zombie Carl. (1:22)

CARL, I'VE ASKED MY ROOMMATERANDALL TO COME BY

AND HELP US ACCLIMATE YOUTO LIFE AS A ZOMBIE AMERICAN.

RANDALL HAS BEEN "Z"FOR WELL OVER A YEAR NOW.

I THINK YOU COULD LEARNA LOT FROM HIM.

- HE SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT GUY.

I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET HIM...

[stammering]FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE.

- WHAT AN ODD THING TO SAY.

- OKAY, WHERE'S THE FIRE?

I BET LEONARD I COULD JERK OFF30 TIMES IN ONE DAY,

AND I WAS JUST ABOUT TO WIN--TWICE.

- UH, RANDALL, I'D LIKETO INTRODUCE YOU TO CARL.

CARL IS A NEW ZOMBIEWHO COULD USE A MENTOR.

- HI, THERE.I'M CARL.

MARK HAS TOLD ME SO MUCHABOUT YOU.

- I HAVE?

- YOU LOOK KIND OF FAMILIAR.

OH, BRAINEATERS ANONYMOUS,RIGHT?

YOU'RE THAT DUDE THAT'S ALWAYS,UH, CRYIN' LIKE A LITTLE BITCH?

- THAT REALLY DEFEATSTHE PURPOSE

OF "ANONYMOUS," RANDALL,

BUT CARL JUST WENT "Z"THIS WEEK.

THERE'S NO WAYYOU COULD HAVE MET HIM.

- DUDE, I NEED THIS HANDTO DO HORRIBLE THINGS, REMEMBER?

- CARL, PLEASE LET GOOF HIS HAND.

- SO, UH, RANDALL,YOU WANT TO GRAB A BITE TO EAT?

IT'S ON ME.

OR IT CAN BE ME.J/K.

[laughs]

JUST TRYING OUTSOME NEW ZOMBIE JOKES.

[sighs]

- YEAH, WELL, DON'T EVERDO THAT AGAIN.

- SORRY, CARL.NO TIME TO DILLYDALLY.

WE NEED TO FIND YOU A NEW JOBTHAT'S ZOMBIE-APPROPRIATE.

- YEAH, I CAN HOOK HIM UPWITH THE PERFECT JOB.

I KNOW A GUY.

BUT FIRST, IF I COULD KINDLYBORROW SOMEBODY'S HAND LOTION,

I WOULD PREFER NOT TO DOA KANSAS CITY DRY RUB.

COME ON, THE CLOCK'S TICKING,PEOPLE.

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