Deon Cole - Getting Deep

  • Season 11 , Ep 14
  • 03/08/2007
  • Views: 7,591

It would be cool to have special powers. (2:39)

CHECK THIS OUT. HOW ABOUT IF WE ALL HAD THE POWER TO JUST THINK ABOUT

WHERE WE WANTED TO BE AT AND WE COULD BE JUST BE THERE.

WOULDN'T THAT BE COOL? I GET DEEP.

LET ME TELL YOU HOW DEEP I GET BEFORE I GO OFF INTO THE JOKE.

IMAGINE IF EVERYBODY IN HERE RIGHT NOW,

IMAGINE IF WE ALLWALKED OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW

AND WE WERE ALREADY THERE.

[LAUGHTER]

SMOKE ONE. YOU'LL KNOW WHATI'M TALKING ABOUT I PROMISE YOU.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IMAGINE IF YOU COULD JUST THINK ABOUT WHERE YOU WANTED TO BE AT

AND YOU COULD JUST BE THERE. WOULDN'T THAT BE COOL? 'CAUSE I KNOW SOME OF Y'ALL

SITTIN' OUT HERE RIGHT NOW ARE LIKE,

"MAN, I GOTTA DRIVE ALL THE WAYOVER HERE, DROP THEM OFF,

"COME ALL THE WAY OVER HERE, PICK MY KIDS UP AND GO

ALL THE WAY HOME."WHEN THE ONLY THINGYOU COULD DO IS DO THIS.

"I WISH I WAS AT HOME IN MY BED CHILLIN'." YOU GO, "HUHM."

BE RIGHT IN YOUR BED CHILLIN'.IF YOU COULD DO THAT--

AND I KNOW IF I HAVEPOWERS LIKE THAT-- I'D BE LIKE "I GOT POWERS LIKE THIS?

OKAY, I WANNA BEIN THE DOWNTOWN NATIONALBANK VAULT. HUHM."

GET DOWN THERE.I TAKE ALL OF THE MONEY

AND BE LIKE, "OKAY, LIQUOR STORE, REEFER SPOT,

- MY WOMAN HOUSE. HUHM." - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THEY'D BE TRYIN' TO GET MONEY OUT OF THE CASH STATION

GETTIN' ROBBED.GUY COME UP BEHIND YOU.

"FREEZE. WITHDRAW EVERYTHING NOW. I'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF."

I'D HAVE BEEN LIKE, "HUHM." I'D BE LIKE, POW, POW, POW.

"WHERE HE GOIN' TO?" I'D WENT RIGHT BEHIND HIM.

LIKE, "HUHM TRYIN' TO ROB ME,BASTARD, HUH?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU COULDN'T CHEAT ON YOUR WOMAN NEITHER, RIGHT.

OVER AT SOMEBODY HOUSE GOIN', "WHOSE IS IT? WHOSE IS IT?"

SHE AT HOME LIKE, "HE AIN'T CALLED YET?

"I BET HE OVER FOOQUANDA HOUSE.

I WANNA BE INTHE BITCH CLOSET. HUHM."

GET OUT OF HER CLOSET. SEE YOU IN THERE.

SHE LIKE, "AH, I KNEW HE WAS CHEATIN' ON ME.

"FORGET IT. TO THENEAREST GUN SHOP. HUHM.

"YEAH, LET ME SEE THAT NINE-MILLIMETER RIGHT THERE.

THE CLIP COME WITH IT? INFRARED? I'LL TAKE THIS."

"OKAY, MA'AM. THAT'LL BE 400 AND--"

- "HUHM." - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

JUMPING IN THE CLOSET. BOOM! "FREEZE, DEON.

"I KNEW YOU WAS CHEATIN' ON ME.YOU LEAVIN' ME AT HOME WITH THEM

"LITTLE NAPPY HEADED ASS KIDS. YOU AIN'T GONNA DO IT NO MORE.

I'M GONNA BLOW YOUR BALLS OFF NOW."

I'LL BE LIKE, "HOLD ON. JUST HOLD ON FOR A MINUTE.

FOOQUANDA,TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED."SHE BE LIKE,

- "[BLEEP]. HUHM." - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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