Hannibal Buress - Money Over Everything

Hannibal Buress: Animal Furnace Season 1, Ep 101 05/20/2012 Views: 13,789

Based on some of his song lyrics, Hannibal Buress believes that Young Jeezy would be the worst real estate agent ever. (2:04)

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YOUNG JEEZY.

HE HAS A SONG WHERE HE SAYS,"HOW STUPID? DUMB BIG.

MY ROOMS GOT ROOMS."

ALL RIGHT.

NAH, JEEZY,THOSE ARE CLOSETS.

THOSE AREN'T EXTRA ROOMSIN YOUR ROOMS.

JEEZY--HE'D BE THE WORSTREAL-ESTATE AGENT EVER.

"RIGHT HEREWE HAVE A 34-BEDROOM HOUSE.

"LET ME SHOW YOUAROUND THE PROPERTY.

"GREAT FEATURE OF THIS PLACE--SOME OF THE ROOMS

"HAVE EXTRA SMALLER ROOMSIN THEM.

"YOU HAVE TO SLEEPIN THESE ROOMS LIKE THIS.

"VERY UNIQUESLEEPING SITUATION

"INSPIRED BY THE JAPANESE.

"NOW LET ME SHOW YOUTO THE BATHROOM.

"THE BATHROOM IS GREAT.YOU HAVE A REGULAR-SIZE TUB.

THEN YOU HAVEA MINIATURE TUB--THE SINK."

I DO--I FEEL LIKE RAPAFFECTS

HOW I TALK WITH PEOPLETOO MUCH.

IT'S NOT GOOD.

I WAS TALKING WITH MY MOMON THE PHONE

AND SHE WAS TELLING ME--SHE WENT,

"HANNIBAL, SO I'M WATCHINGYOUR NIECE AND NEPHEW

FOR A WEEK WHILEYOUR SISTER IS GONE."

AND I WAS LIKE,"FOR A WEEK, MA?

"THEY WATCHIN' YOUFOR A WHOLE--

"YOU WATCHIN'FOR A WHOLE WEEK?

"ARE THEY PAYIN' YOUTO WATCH 'EM FOR A WEEK?

THAT'S A LONG TIME.YOU GETTIN' PAID?"

SHE SAID,"NO, HANNIBAL.

"A GRANDMOTHERDOESN'T HAVE TO GET PAID

TO WATCH HER GRANDKIDS."

AND I SAID,"YO, MA...

MONEY OVER EVERYTHING."

[laughter and applause]

THAT'S NOT HEALTHY.

SOMETIMES I GET DRUNK,

AND I GET INTO ARGUMENTSWITH TAXI DRIVERS,

AND I GET OUT THE CAB,AND I SLAM THE DOOR.

THAT'S NOT THE WAY TO WINAN ARGUMENT WITH A TAXI DRIVER.

THE WAY TO WIN ISYOU GET OUT THE CAB

AND YOU LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN.

THEN HE HAS TO STEP OUT, COMEAROUND, AND CLOSE THAT DOOR.

WHILE HE'S DOING THAT,I'M ON THE OTHER SIDE,

OPENING THE OTHER DOORS.

AND WE JUST KEEP GOINGAROUND AND AROUND

AND AROUND AND AROUND.

AND I GOT MY OWN BENNY HILLSITUATION GOING ON IN LIFE.

RIGHT.[humming Yakety Sax]