DL Hughley - Women Love Money

DL Hughley: Shocked and Appalled Season 1, Ep 101 05/15/2005 Views: 5,106

According to DL Hughley, the only thing women love more than money is your money. (2:56)

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WOMEN LOVE MONEY.

THEY LOVE MONEY.

THEY DO.

THEY DO.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]THEY LOVE IT.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY LOVEEVEN MORE THAN MONEY?

YOUR MONEY.

THEY LOVE YOUR MONEY MORE THANMONEY.

AND IT'S A SCIENTIFIC FACT.

I CAN PROVE IT.

THAT'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND,YOUR WIFE.

"YEAH, MY WIFE."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]WHEN IS THE LAST TIME AS SHE IS

LOVELY GAVE YOU CHANGE BACKFOR ANY DAMN THING?

THEY THINK IT'S THEIRS.

"CHANGE?

WHAT CHANGE?""WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I..."

MY WIFE DOES THAT ALL THE TIME.

"I NEED SOME MONEY FORGROCERIES."

"HERE, HERE, HERE."

"I NEED SOME EGGS AND SOMEMILK."

"WELL, HERE'S $50.

HEY BABY, AH...

WHERE'S MY CHANGE?""WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY

CHANGE."

"WELL, UNLESS YOU BOUGHT EGGS,MILK AND COCAINE."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]WOMEN LOVE MONEY, THEY LOVE IT.

THEY LOVE TO SHOP, TOO.

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE TO SHOP?

WHAT IS THAT?

LOVE TO SHOP.

LOVE TO SHOP.

AND THEN YOU SHOP AND YOU DOLITTLE SLICK [BLEEP] LIKE WE

DON'T KNOW.

LIKE YOU BUY A WHOLE BUNCH OFSTUFF AND YOU STICK IT IN THE

BACK OF THE CLOSET.

AND YOU TAKE IT OUT A PIECE AT ATIME LIKE WE SO STUPID

WE DON'T--"HEY, HEY, HEY, WHERE DID YOU

GET THAT?""I HAD THIS A LONG TIME.

I DON'T KNOW...

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]WHAT ARE YOU...?"

AND THEN THEY LEAVE A LOT OFTHAT STUFF IN THE TRUNK OF THEIR

CAR.

"GO HOME RIGHT NOW."

"HEY, BABY, CAN I SEE YOURTRUNK?"

"WHAT DO YOU NEED TO GO TOMY TRUNK FOR?!"

YOU EVER CATCH 'EM GETTINGDRESSED IN THE GARAGE?

[LAUGHTER]"STOP WALKING UP ON ME LIKE

THAT.

I WAS ABOUT TO TAKE THIS STUFFBACK."

[LAUGHTER]I THINK WOMEN ARE INSANE.

I AIN'T SAYING WE AIN'T GOTY'ALL THAT WAY BUT Y'ALL ARE

INSANE.

Y'ALL DO STUFF EVEN YOU CAN'TEVEN EXPLAIN.

LIKE PUT TOWELS IN THE BATHROOMAIN'T NOBODY SUPPOSED TO USE.

WHAT TYPE OF...?

WHAT IS THAT?

"DON'T USE THOSE TOWELS,THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU!"

"WELL, WHO THEY FOR?""THEY NOT FOR YOU!"

EVERY TIME I GET OUT THE SHOWERI RUB MY [BLEEP] ACROSS THEM

[BLEEP] DAMN TOWELS!

I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESEDAMN TOWELS.

I DON'T CARE.

I DON'T CARE.

I DON'T CARE.

DAMN THESE TOWELS.