Uncensored - Kumail Nanjiani - Call of Duty

Kumail Nanjiani: Beta Male Season 1, Ep 1 07/20/2013 Views: 40,861

Kumail Nanjiani struggles with the morality of playing a video game that treats his hometown as a war zone. (2:11)

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- You guysinto video games at all?

[cheers and applause]

Yeah, oh, my God.

I play Call of--

You know, my issuewith Call of Duty,

those games, is that they'rebased on, like, real wars.

Like, World War II and shit,which feels weird to me,

'cause, like,real people died,

and now I haveto kill them all over again.

So I have a moral problem.

I'm like,"Boycott those games!"

But the new one came out,and it looked so good.

I was like, "All right,I wanna try it."

Then I found outthat one of the levels

in the new Call of Dutyis called "Karachi."

Yep, the cityI grew up in.

They're basically like,"Your hometown

"is now a battlefield.

How many pointscan you get, Kumail?"

But even with that,I was able to convince myself,

you know, like,I was like,

"I would have an advantageover everybody."

I would knowall the places.

I would be like, "Hey, we couldhide in there, guys.

"I used to rent moviesat this place.

"Mr. Siddiquiwill give us shelter.

He once fixed my VCRfor free."

[cheers and applause]

"He didn't judge."

So I was gonnago get it again.

Then I found out--

Okay, so the language theyspeak in Pakistan is Urdu.

That's the nameof the language you speak, Urdu.

But all the street signsin "Karachi" in Call of Duty

are in Arabic.

Yeah, it's a completelydifferent language.

And I know it does notseem like a big deal,

but this gametook three years to make.

If you look at it,the graphics are perfect.

You can see individual hairon people's heads.

When they run,they sweat.

When they run,their shoelaces bounce.

All they had to do was Google"Pakistan, language."

They were literally like,

"What language do theyspeak in Pakistan?"

"I don't care.

I can't gethis sideburns even."

But it was on sale,and I bought it.

It's so good!

Totally worthselling out my people for.