Ian Bagg - Offending the Audience

Ian Bagg & Mike Merrill Season 3, Ep 5 11/01/2014 Views: 7,665

Ian Bagg tells a shocking story about his childhood and explains why he'll never understand how audiences in comedy clubs could get offended. (1:35)

when you were a kid,but it turns out,

later on in life, it was good?

All right, nobody. All right,everything's turned out...

(laughter)

You guys do knowyou came here, right?

I didn't break into your houseand start doing this (bleep),

so let's get into it, okay?

I don't like your attituderight now.

You guys... you guys area little angry.

I just... I totally asked youa question,

and you all treated melike we're related.

(laughter)I don't need that.

Okay, here's the story.

When I was a kid, I had an uncletake me to the carnival, right?

We're on the Tilt-A-Whirl there,and I puked on him.

See, that's bad, right?

Turns out, I was the only kidin our family

that wasn't molested by him.

(groaning, laughter)

All right, this side of the roomdoesn't get that.

You, apparently...you booed that,

like I should havebeen molested.

You know that?(laughter)

Like, that's the weirdest...Like...

That was the weirdest responsefor that joke I've ever had.

"Oh, you should havebeen touched.

"You should have been touched.

Oh, you're luckyyou got a funny tummy."

And don't boo.

I can't stand when people cometo a comedy club, "Oh! Oh!"

And they're offended.

You can't get offendedat a comedy club.

"I-I didn't knowthere was gonna be jokes."

You know,"I expected more riddles.

Who is this guy?"

No. You get into this (bleep).

It wasn't like you werein a Macy's shopping,

and I just ran in,"Suck my (bleep),"

and ran out again.

That's whereyou should be offended,

but nobody ever is.

They're like,"Well, that was weird."

And then they goright back to shopping.

But then they cometo a comedy club.

"Aah..." (muttering)

"We got to get out of here!It's Ontario!

"♪ Oh, hair, oh-oh, hair

♪ Walla-walla, bing-bang. "

So, what do you want to do now?