Yes. Thank you very much.
-Thank you very much. -AUDIENCE(chanting): Larry! Larry!
Thank you.Thank you very much. Thank you.
Please, have a seat.Thank you so much.
Please. Thank you very much.
You're very kind.Welcome to The Nightly Show.
-Thank you.-MAN: Love you, Larry!
I love you too. I do.I really do.
I am Larry Wilmoreand I will be your host, um,
well, at leastfor the next two days.
And, uh... It's true.
By the way, you do not want tomiss next week's shows, guys.
Guaranteed to resonate.
All right. Anyhow...
Sorry. I don't know what...
Okay, okay, so here's the deal:so, last night, okay,
I got to admit, I got a littleboozy off some good cable wine.
From, uh, a show...
That was-that was from our palsover at Team Bee.
Uh, that was so nice of them.
I mean, I was so hungover,I... I just...
I was, like, I just didn't care.So I was thinking, okay,
tonight, I'mdoing the show sober.
I can't... I can'tdo that to my audience.
Why would I do... UntilStephen Colbert sent over this.
he robbed an airlineor something, or...
raided some kind ofa-a mini-bar or something.
So let's just see.
I ain't mad at him.
That's some goodnetwork booze there, you guys.
All right, I'll be boozingon that at the show. All right.
Uh... I'm alreadyslurring my words, gu...
Now, tomorrow night'sour last show,
and before we get there,um, I just got to say,
you better step up,rest of late night--
Daddy needs some morejuice, okay?
I'm looking at you, Last Week Tonight.
-Looking at you.-(cheering, applause)
But before we sign off,one last check-in
with the 2016 Rio Olympic Games.
This is a toilet.
I'm really gonna miss that, man.
I'm really gonna miss it.
It's a toilet. It's a toilet.
One of the mostsurprising moments
in this summer's Olympics
came from Chinese swimmerFu Yuanhui
moments after her team lost, uh,
the 4 x 1 medley relayon Sunday.
Oh, my God.But that's odd--
why would we be bringing upthis story right now?
-I don't...-(siren wails)
Oh, my God!I know what that means.
-(cheering, applause)-It must be Tampon Tuesday.
But wait, that can't be true.No, no, no, it's Wednesday.
Oh, my God-- it must be
Tampon TuesdayWednesday Edition.
All right. Okay.
Please welcome the ladiesof The Nightly Show everybody.
Thank you, guys. Thank you.Thank you. And thank you, Larry!
We appreciate it. You know...
Larry, it was so refreshingto hear Fu Yuanhui talk
-about her periodafter that race. -Yes. -Yes.
Yeah, she normalized itfor millions of people watching,
and she's being hailed as a heroin China and all over the world.
-(cheering and applause)-(whoops) -Yes. Yes. Yes! -Yes.
Yes, now it is cool topublicly attend the Red Wedding.
Uh, so maybe now Tampaxwill start offering
some sweet endorsement moneyfor every athlete competing
in the monthly Flow-lympics.
Yeah, why does it always haveto be sneakers and Gatorade?
Why can't it be somethingwe actually use?
-Mmm. -Exactly.I think networks should go
-all periods all the time. Yeah.-Ooh. I like that. -Yeah. -Yes.
PBS?The Period Broadcasting Service.
-Yes! -Check.-Oh! Yep, yep.
Yeah. NPR?National Period Radio.
-Oh! Like it! -Check.-Ooh... -Right, right?
-Yeah! -Yep. Yep. Yep.-Right, right?
Women always get (bleep) donewhile surfing the crimson wave.
We don't just run in fieldswearing all white.
-Sometimes we're actuallywinning gold medals. -Mm-hmm.
Uh, hello. Uh, but this womanis a shining example
of a long lineof female athletes bleeding
from their wherevers.
-After all, why do you thinkthey called her Flo-Jo? -Okay?
She was constantly ridingthe cotton pony, like a boss.
-Mmm! -So we just want to givea huge shout-out to Fu Yuanhui
for keeping it 100, even on dayswhen she's feeling 75.
-(cheering and applause)-Yay.
Get it, guys? Get it? Period?
-Yeah, we got it. -We get it.-Period? You guys get it?
All right. Hey, Hollywood,I'm available after tomorrow.
(cheering and applause)
Another installmentof Tampon Tuesday:
Wednesday Edition, everybody!