Russ Meneve - Good Intentions

  • Season 9 , Ep 10
  • 04/07/2005
  • Views: 2,148

The inventor of the ski mask had the best of intentions. (1:54)

Russ Meneve: BUT NEW YORKERS

IN HERE, WE HAVE TO COME

TOGETHER AFTER 9/11, RIGHT?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I LIVE UH...

I LIVE IN THE CITY.

DID ANYBODY GET THAT

RIDICULOUSLY BELATED PHONE CALL

FROM ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS AFTER

IT HAPPENED?

NEW YORKERS KNOW WHAT I'M

TALKING ABOUT.

I GOT A CALL SIX DAYS AFTER IT

HAPPENED FROM A GOOD FRIEND.

HE'S LIKE "HEY DUDE, I JUST

CALLED TO SEE IF YOU WERE OKAY."

"HEY THANKS, IT HAPPENED A WEEK

AGO!

I'M IN THE RUBBLE, SEND HELP.

HOW'S THAT FOR ANSWER STUPID,

HUH?"

[LAUGHTER]

WE ALL THOUGHT THE SAME THING

ON 9/11, RIGHT?

THOSE [BLEEP] DAMN

WRIGHT BROTHERS, I KNEW THIS WAS

GONNA HAPPEN!

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NO BUT THAT GOES TO SHOW,

NO MATTER WHAT YOU INVENT

SOMEBODY'S GOING TO TRY TO USE

IT FOR EVIL, RIGHT?

LIKE I ASSURE YOU THE INVENTOR

OF THE SKI MASK, HAD THE BEST

OF INTENTIONS.

[LAUGHTER]

HE JUST WANTED TO KEEP YOUR

HEAD WARM ON A BRISK SKI SLOPE

THAT'S ALL HE WANTED.

WHO KNEW 80% WOULD BE USED FOR

ARMED ROBBERY AND RAPE.

WHO KNEW THAT?

HE EVEN PUT THAT CUTE LITTLE

FURRY BALL ON TOP, RIGHT?

YOU CAN'T USE THAT HAT FOR EVIL

WITH THAT CUTE LITTLE BALL UP

THERE.

YOU GOTTA CUT IT OFF OR MAKE

THE BALL EVIL.

PUT SOME DARK HAIR AND A HITLER

MOUSTACHE ON THE BALL OR SOME

DARK MEAN EYES AND ANOTHER

LITTLE SKI MASK OVER THAT.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU EVER THINK WHAT THE THOUGHT

WAS BEHIND THAT HAT WITH THAT

BALL UP THERE?

"HEY, GUY'S LOOK AT MY HAT,

IT KEEPS MY HEAD WARM AND IN

CASE I DROP DEAD, THE CAT HAS

SOMETHING TO PLAY WITH UNTIL

HELP ARRIVES."

[LAUGHTER]

"GOOD IDEA, BOB."

IMAGINE FINDING A DEAD BODY

LIKE THAT AND THE CATS LIKE...

[LAUGHTER]

BALL WORKS!

BUT I DON'T LIKE CATS VERY MUCH,

YOU KNOW.

CATS HAVE NINE LIVES BUT WHAT

THEY DON'T TELL YOU IS THE

MICROWAVE WIPES OUT ALL NINE

AT ONCE.

YEAH.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

[WHISTLES]

I FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY.

POOR PATCHES, HE WENT DOWN.

BUT I DON'T TRUST THESE AN

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