You wanna shit your pants?Pot cookie. Airplane.
That's a religious experience.
It's available for everyone.
Ha-ha, why is it illegal?
Pharmaceutical companiesare the big one.
They don't want you to haveweed, because if you had weed,
you wouldn't needto buy a lot of their shit.
If you had weed, youwouldn't need sleeping pills.
Smoke pot, jerk off, and tryto stay awake, seriously.
If you can smoke pot,jerk off, and stay awake,
you should be a Navy Seal.
You should be fightingfor freedom.
Me, I have a goalwhen I smoke pot and jerk off.
It's to stay awakelong enough to remember
to let go of my dick.
I've never got there yet.I got close a couple of times.
I'm like,"Tonight's the night."
Wake up later, aw, man.
It's sad knowingthat you're gonna do it again.
You know, I'm nevergonna [bleep]ing rise above,
but it's only sad because Ilive with a wife and kids.
If I was alone, I wouldn't givea [bleep] about jerking off.
It'd be fine and dandy.
That's why hotel roomsare amazing for men.
That's the only time a mancan truly jerk off in peace.
You know where, here's the door.
There's the bed.There's nothing else here.
All right, I'm good.
So when a man jerks offin a hotel room,
he has two options.
Two things to consider,clean up, or [bleep] it.
I always go with [bleep] it.
The momentmy load hits my chest,
I do a quick gator rollin the sheets.
I find a dry spot,and I'm out.