Monroe Martin - Working with Kids Stinks

Po Boy Season 2, Ep 4 09/26/2014 Views: 5,003

Monroe Martin didn't enjoy working with kids because the ones he encountered were terrifying. (1:47)

I WENT TO A BAD SCHOOLGROWING UP.

I WENT TO MARTIN LUTHER KINGHIGH SCHOOL.

YEAH, MY SCHOOLWAS DEFINITELY NOT HIS DREAM.

MY SCHOOLWAS DOCUMENTARY BAD.

YOU KNOW HOW BAD YOU GOTTABE TO MAKE IT TO THE MOVIES?

EVERY TIME YOU WATCH

A DOCUMENTARYABOUT A BAD SCHOOL,

IT HAS THREE MAIN THINGSTHAT MAKE THAT SCHOOL TERRIBLE:

DRUG DEALERS,GANGS, AND PREGNANT GIRLS.

MY SCHOOL WAS SO BAD,WE HAD DRUG-DEALING

PREGNANT GIRLSTHAT RAN GANGS.

THE INITIATIONWAS THEIR WATER BREAKING.

I USED TO WORK WITH KIDS.

I HATE IT,'CAUSE I DON'T LIKE KIDS.

KIDS STINK.

THAT'S A NORMAL ANSWERFOR A MAN.

IF YOU EVER HEAR A DUDE GO,"I ABSOLUTELY ADORE CHILDREN,"

YOU SHOULD RUNA BACKGROUND CHECK IMMEDIATELY.

ALSO, ONE,I'M NOT EVEN THAT SMART.

IF I DIDN'T KNOW AN ANSWERTO A KID'S QUESTION,

I JUST MADE THEM LOOKWITHIN THEMSELVES.

A KID WOULD COME TO ME:"MR. MARTIN,

"CAN YOU HELP MESOLVE THIS EQUATION?

I GOT TO SOLVE FOR X."

"COME ON, JAMAL,YOU KNOW THIS.

"IT'S IN HERE,'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

"I CHEATED OFFTHE INDIAN GIRL.

SO SHOULD YOU."

I WAS TERRIFIED OF MOSTOF THE KIDS I WORKED WITH,

ESPECIALLY THIS ONE KIDNAMED RASHAWN.

RASHAWN WAS A NINTH GRADER

WITH A FULL SCHOLARSHIPTO PRISON.

HE HAD A NECK TATTOOTHAT SAID "M.O.B.,"

WHICH HE TOLD ME STANDSFOR "MONEY OVER BITCHES."

I WAS LIKE,"YOU DON'T HAVE EITHER."

I HAD TO SIT HIM DOWNAND TELL HIM THE TRUTH.

I WAS LIKE, "LOOK, MAN,I'M GONNA BE HONEST WITH YOU.

"AT THE RATE YOU'RE GOING,THAT M.O.B. TATTOO

IS JUST GONNA STAND FOR'MCDONALD'S OR BURGER KING?'"

HE DIDN'T THINKTHAT WAS FUNNY AT ALL!

I GOT IN TROUBLE;HIS MOM CAME UP TO THE SCHOOL,

AND I WAS SCARED OF HER,

BECAUSE SHE HAD THE SAMEEXACT TATTOO ON HER NECK,

AND SHE HADA BURGER KING UNIFORM ON.