Tim Cook Meltdown at Apple Launch

  • Season 2 , Ep 3
  • 10/10/2012
  • Views: 150,274

Apple CEO Tim Cook shows everyone some classified next level s**t. (2:50)

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- MR. COOK, YOU'RE ALMOST UP.ARE YOU READY?

- GOOD. I'M GOOD.- OKAY.

REALLY GONNA NEED YOU TO STICKTO THE SCRIPT ON THIS ONE.

- I'M THE CEO OF APPLE,WILLIS.

I'M NOT GONNADO ANYTHING STUPID.

PLEASE STOP COMPARING METO STEVE JOBS.

- NO, BUT NOBODY'S COMPARING YOUTO STEVE JOBS, OKAY?

WE JUST WANT YOUTO FOCUS ON THE PRODUCTS

AND PLEASE STICKTO THE SCRIPT.

OKAY, YOU'RE ON IN THREE--

- THEY'RE GONNA FORGET THEY EVERHEARD THE NAME STEVE JOBS.

WHAT UP, APPLE PEOPLE?

[cheers and applause]

YEAH!

YEAH!

WELL, NOW THE FIRST THING

THAT I'M GONNA DOIS T.O.T.S.

THROW OUT THE SCRIPT.

[cheers and applause]

NOW, I'M SUPPOSED TO COME OUTHERE AND TELL YOU ABOUT SOME

BULL[bleep] NEW IPHONE, PAD,POD, DICK, PUSSY [bleep]!

YOU'VE SEEN IT![stammering] BORING!

[clattering]

[applause]

YES!

THAT'S EXACTLY IT.

NOW, LET'S JUST SAYTHIS TABLE RIGHT HERE--

LET'S SAY IT'S BILL GATES, HUH?[shouts]

[audience cheers]

YEAH!

[yelping]

[laughs]

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

AND LET'S SAY THAT THIS

IS OUR COMPETITOR'SNEW SMARTPHONE.

[audience boos]

HOW ABOUT THAT?HUH? WHAT?

[laughs]

[robot voice]I AM A MAJOR DONKEY DICK.

WHOO! RIGHT?

AND LET'S SAYTHAT THIS RIGHT HERE...

- HEY!

- THIS IS ONEOF OUR COMPETITOR'S

NEW E-BOOK READER, HUH?

WHAT ABOUT THAT?

WHAT? UH-OH.TUT-TUT.

WOOK'S WIKE WAIN!

HAAAA!

[cheers and applause]

WHOO! WHOO!

YEAH!

ALL RIGHT!

YES!

WHO WANTS TO SEE SOME OF THATCLASSIFIED NEXT-LEVEL [bleep]?

HUH?

DID STEVE EVER SHOW YOUTHAT CLASSIFIED [bleep]?

NO, HE DIDN'T.

- YOU CAN'T DO THAT.THEY HAVEN'T BEEN TESTED YET.

- THIS DEVICE WILL ALLOW YOUTO TELEPORT

ANYWHERE ON THE PLANET.

CHECK THIS OUT.

I AM THE FUTURE!

[beeps, buzzes]

[screams]

- [gasps]

- [screams]

- WHOO!

LET'S SEE STEVE JOBS DO THAT![laughs]

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