Jack Coen - Terrorism

  • Season 2, Ep 11
  • 09/03/1999
  • Views: 1,185

Jack thinks the world hates Americans because we have a lot of stuff. (2:59)

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

ENGLAND.

YOU FROM ENGLAND?REALLY?

Woman:ENGLISH!

YEAH, THAT WOULDMAKE HIM ENGLISH.

VERY GOOD, MA'AM.

CAN'T FOOL THE AMERICANS.

WE KNOW OUR STUFF.

ENGLAND--THAT WOULD BE ENGLISH!

ENGLAND-- THEY'RE WITH US

IN THE NATO BOMBINGOF YUGOSLAVIA, RIGHT?

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

I'M NOT... I'M VERYUNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT.

I KNOW WE'RE THE LEADERAND EVERYTHING.

I'M JUST, YOU KNOW...

I'M JUST VERY UNCOMFORTABLEWITH THE WHOLE THING.

I'M UNCOMFORTABLE WITHOUR PRESIDENT, THIS PRESIDENT

TELLING ME WE HAVEA MORAL OBLIGATION.

OH, MY GOD.

I DON'T KNOW HOW HE SAIDTHE WORD "MORAL"

WITHOUT CRACKING A SMILE.

I'M SURE HIS ADVISORS ARE GOING

"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO USETHE WORD 'MORAL,' ARE YOU?"

"YEAH. I'M GOINGTO GIVE IT A SHOT."

I DON'T KNOW.

THAT-THAT... I...

I KNOW WE'RE THE LEADER,BUT LIE TO ME.

I'D RATHER HAVE A BETTER LIE.

TELL ME THERE'S OIL THERE,YOU KNOW.

I'LL GO FIGHT FOR OIL.

YOU KNOW, IT'S...WHAT BOTHERS ME

ABOUT THE WHOLE PROBLEMOVER THERE

IS THAT IT JUST INSPIRESMORE PEOPLE TO HATE US.

YOU KNOW... IT...

IT JUST INSPIRES TERRORISTSTO COME HERE

AND SOMETHING'S GOINGTO HAPPEN HERE, YOU KNOW...

AND TERRORISTS JUST...

THEY JUST HAVE SO MUCH MORE WAYSTO HURT US NOW.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS GROWING UP

THE BIG, BAD WEAPONWAS THE NUCLEAR WEAPON.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M COMFORTABLEWITH THAT KIND OF DEATH NOW.

I MEAN, HOW BAD COULD THAT BE?

IT'S, LIKE, HEY--LOOK AT THE LIGHT.

HEY, WHO TOOK MY PICTURE?

( makes explosion sound )

BUT NOW, THEY GOTBIOLOGICAL WEAPONS

AND CHEMICAL WEAPONS.

OH, MAN... I DON'T WANTTO COME AROUND A CORNER

AND EVERYBODY'S GOING...

AND THERE'S NO BAND PLAYING.

'CAUSE DON'T KID YOURSELF--

THE WORLD HATES OUR GUTS.

THEY HATE US.

WHETHER WE'RE BOMBING THEMOR FEEDING THEM

THEY HATE OUR GUTS.

THEY HATE US BECAUSE WE HAVEA LOT OF STUFF.

WE DO. OUR STANDARDOF LIVING'S PRETTY HIGH.

WE GOT A LOT OF NICE STUFF HERE.

THAT'S WHY IF I WAS IN CHARGE

I WOULD NOT HAVE THE OLYMPICSIN OUR COUNTRY ANYMORE.

DON'T LET THE WHOLE WORLD COMEHERE AND SEE OUR STUFF.

IT JUST PISSES THEM OFF.

EVEN THE COUNTRIESWE'RE FEEDING--

THEY GET HERE AND GO,OH, THANKS FOR THE WHEAT.

( laughter )

GOD FORBID YOU SHOULD SENDA COUPLE OF BURGERS.

NO. WE REALLY ENJOYED THE WHEAT.

YOU KNOW, YOU ADDA LITTLE WATER AND MIX IT UP

MAKES A NICE MUSHY DISHTHAT WE ATE.

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