Extended - Voter Voices: Securing the Scary Clown Vote - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, October 13, 2016 - Uncensored 10/13/2016 Views: 367

A murderous clown (Betsy Sodaro) sneaks up on Chris and surprises him with her progressive political agenda. (4:31)

today we were planning ondoing one of our Voter Voices

segments, uh, but instead, I'dlike to take a moment to assure

everyone that killer clowns arenot real.

They are a manifestation of ouranxiety.

People are super freaked out bythe election.

Some goobers are taking thatanxiety and they're just

bringing it into the real world.

They're trolling us all.

And in a way, aren't they kindof holding up a mirror to

society and reflecting wherewe're at right now?

This sort of grotesque, paintedfigure that's darker than it

seems beneath the surface.

But I promise you, there is nosuch thing as a murder clown.

>> Yes, there is!

>> HARDWICK: Jesus fuckingChrist!

(evil laugh)>> Hello!

I'm Giggles the Murder Clown.

(evil laugh)Giggles.

>> You're real?

What the... ?

>> Ooh, yes, I'm real, Chris.

And boy, oh, boy, do I lovemurder.

(horn toots)(applause)

(snickering)>> HARDWICK: First of all, I

think white face is wrong.

And...

(laughter)You're, you're not gonna kill

us, are you?

>> Probably not.

(scoffs)Hey... you want to smell my

flower?

>> HARDWICK: No.

>> It's full of human blood.

>> HARDWICK: All right.

Oh! That's...

>> (laughing): Giggles.

>> HARDWICK: Why...

Why are you here?

>> Oh, Chris, because thiselection is very important.

And I just want to make sure ourvoices are heard.

Now I'm not here only on behalfof murder clowns, okay?

I'm also here for thievingmagicians, loitering acrobats,

jugglers that are cannibalistic,and Scientologists.

(applause)>> HARDWICK: Okay.

>> Yeah. Hey, hey.

If you don't vote, you don'tcount.

>> HARDWICK: Okay, so I assume,because you're a violent

psychopath trying to sow chaos,you're voting for Trump.

>> Oh, no way, man.

He scares the shit out of me.

>> HARDWICK: Seriously?

>> Yeah, yeah.

Look, Chris, look.

The-the paint on my face may berendered from the human fat and

kidney blood of my victims, butI'm not crazy.

No, no, no, no, no.

I am with her!

>> HARDWICK: All right, uh...

>> Yeah.

I mean...

That's why we're popping upeverywhere lately-- to get out

the vote.

>> HARDWICK: Oh...

>> Just look at this mapof clowns being seen from

Atlas Obscura, huh?

We got Florida, Ohio,Pennsylvania-- swing states,

huh?

But also, we clowns feelcomfortable there because they

remind us of hell.

>> HARDWICK: Well...

Okay, okay, this is shedding alot of light on this.

So, the murder clown thing isall about voting, but why are

you luring kids into the woods?

>> Oh, boy, it's calledgrassroots campaigning, Chris.

You lure a kid into the woods,tie them up, wave around a chain

saw, boom-- another vote forHillary, yeah!

>> HARDWICK: Wh... I don't...

No, hang on, though-- what aboutthis footage of a clown going up

to some random person's door,brandishing a machete?

>> Okay, door-to-doorcanvassing, Chris.

Come on.

You knock on the door, you breakin, you hide in the attic for 15

years, coming out only at night,staring over the children while

they sleep and breathing intheir breath, boom-- another

vote for Hillary.

>> HARDWICK: Okay.

(horn honking)I get it, okay, I get it.

So, then I guess this footage ofa clown chasing joggers through

a park was just about gettingthem to vote?

>> Oh, no, actually, we murderedthe shit out of those guys.

>> HARDWICK: Oh.

>> Yeah, yeah.

But the point is everyone needsto get out there and vote.

Hey, as scary as we are, we arenowhere near as bad as Donald

Trump, okay?

(whooping, cheering)Thank you, thank you.

I never... I never, ever...

I never thought I, a murderclown, would be saying this, but

please don't vote for thepsychopath who has fake hair and

an orange face, please, please!

>> HARDWICK: All right, Gigglesthe Clown, everyone.

Voter Voices.

These are people from yourcommunity.

It...

>> (echoing): (Giggles laughs)>> HARDWICK: Where the fuck did

she go?