This Christmas, I hada couple weeks off.
I tried to go to rehab
for my mom,as a Christmas gift.
But it's weird.
I tried to go to rehab
'cause I wanted to smoke weedless.
Like, I didn't even wantto quit.
Don't tell anybody thatin rehab, by the way.
So I didn't have enough timeto think about it.
I was like, "I'll go to rehab."
So I asked my friends--
you know, people who knowabout this stuff,
and I was like,"Where should we go?
What's, like, the best place?"
They were like, "You should goto a rehab facility in Utah."
Without even thinking,booked the flight.
Did you know, when you booka flight to Utah,
there is a layover in Denver?
And I was sittingin the airport like,
"Is this partof the [bleep] rehab?
"Like, do I--is this level one?
Do I have to get past this?"
Also, did you knowthat there's rehabs everywhere?
You don't have to go to Utah.
I found that out,'cause I got there,
and I was like, "Hi,my name's Pete Davidson."
They're like,"Oh, where you from?"
I was like,"I live in Manhattan."
And they're like, "Oh, have youheard about our facilities
I was like, "No, I heardabout the one in Utah."
It's a weird thing,going to rehab
when you wantto smoke weed less,
like not even quit,
because people are therefor crack and meth,
and I'm there 'cause, like,
I want to knowwhat food tastes like.
That's what happens, by the way,
when you stop smoking weedfor a little bit.
You'll be like, "Oh,some food is not good."
First thing you dowhen you get into a rehab is,
you check into detox.
I didn't know there wasno such thing
as detox for potheads.
So I should have knownsomething was up,
because I was in a linewaiting to check in,
and everybody in front of mewas shaking, and I wasn't.
And I felt uncomfortable.I was like, "[bleep] that.
I'm not gonna bethe odd man out in rehab."
So I started shaking myself.
I was like, "Oh,kicked in later, you guys.
I remember this guythat was just like,
"Hey, guys, I'm Joe.
"I do crack.
And then he was like,"But they brought me back.
And I was like, "Ha ha.Ha ha.
I don't know if that's funny."
And he was just like,"This is my last shot."
Everybody was like,"Thank you.
Thank you, Joe."
And I didn't knowyou thanked them after,
so I was late.
I was like, "Oh, thanks, Joe!"
And then everybody looked at me,and I was like...