Pete Davidson - Rehab for Christmas

Pete Davidson: SMD Season 1, Ep 1 10/29/2016 Views: 15,529

As a Christmas gift to his mom, Pete Davidson books a flight to Utah to check himself into rehab. (3:06)

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This Christmas, I hada couple weeks off.

I tried to go to rehab

for my mom,as a Christmas gift.

But it's weird.

I tried to go to rehab

'cause I wanted to smoke weedless.

Like, I didn't even wantto quit.

Don't tell anybody thatin rehab, by the way.

So I didn't have enough timeto think about it.

I was like, "I'll go to rehab."

So I asked my friends--

you know, people who knowabout this stuff,

and I was like,"Where should we go?

What's, like, the best place?"

They were like, "You should goto a rehab facility in Utah."

Without even thinking,booked the flight.

Did you know, when you booka flight to Utah,

there is a layover in Denver?


And I was sittingin the airport like,

"Is this partof the [bleep] rehab?

"Like, do I--is this level one?

Do I have to get past this?"

Also, did you knowthat there's rehabs everywhere?

You don't have to go to Utah.

I found that out,'cause I got there,

and I was like, "Hi,my name's Pete Davidson."

They're like,"Oh, where you from?"

I was like,"I live in Manhattan."

And they're like, "Oh, have youheard about our facilities

in Manhattan?"

I was like, "No, I heardabout the one in Utah."

It's a weird thing,going to rehab

when you wantto smoke weed less,

like not even quit,

because people are therefor crack and meth,

and I'm there 'cause, like,

I want to knowwhat food tastes like.

That's what happens, by the way,

when you stop smoking weedfor a little bit.

You'll be like, "Oh,some food is not good."

First thing you dowhen you get into a rehab is,

you check into detox.

I didn't know there wasno such thing

as detox for potheads.

So I should have knownsomething was up,

because I was in a linewaiting to check in,

and everybody in front of mewas shaking, and I wasn't.

And I felt uncomfortable.I was like, "[bleep] that.

I'm not gonna bethe odd man out in rehab."

So I started shaking myself.

I was like, "Oh,kicked in later, you guys.

[bleep].Holy shit."

I remember this guythat was just like,

"Hey, guys, I'm Joe.

"I do crack.

I died."

And then he was like,"But they brought me back.

Ha ha!Obviously!"

And I was like, "Ha ha.Ha ha.

I don't know if that's funny."

And he was just like,"This is my last shot."

Everybody was like,"Thank you.

Thank you, Joe."

And I didn't knowyou thanked them after,

so I was late.

I was like, "Oh, thanks, Joe!"

And then everybody looked at me,and I was like...