My brother-in-law--his name is "Coon."
Now, make some noiseif you don't know
what the word "coon" means.
(distant, quiet whoop)
Oh, that's okay,he's so cute. He's just like,
"I don't want them to know..."It's great, okay?
You must be in your 20s,I can tell.
You have the look of hopeon your face.
So, for the two and a halfpeople that don't know,
"coon" is a derogatory wordfor a black person.
Okay? It's, like, 12 Years a Slave old.
That's why you don't...It's, like, super old.
And I'm glad that, like,a lot of young people
don't know that word, 'causeit's mean and it's going away,
Obama's president, Kanyehas a album, we're winning.
my husband and I got marriedin July in Miami,
because it's 40% cheaperto get married
during hurricane season.
Yeah, I like that refund.
So I was running errandsand I took Coen with me
and I went to a Walmartand when I walked in,
he was like, "So many ketchups!"
And ran away with a boner.
Just, like, a hard dick--"Mayonnaises!"
Like, it was insane.
But my point is, does anyonein this room know how hard it is
to lose your brother-in-lawnamed Coen
at a Walmart in South Florida?
It is so hard.
Like, I was just, like, gentlyjogging down each aisle,
'cause I can't run with thesetits, okay? This is...
two Chihuahuas just alwaysfighting each other.
You know what I mean.
Got them tig ol' bitties.
It's a lot of...It's like a fleshy IKEA shelf.
So I'm gently j... joggingdown each aisle and I'm like,
Like a racist ventriloquist.I'm like... (moaning)
This employeecame up to me, she's like,
"Did you lose somebody?Would you like me to page him?"
I was like...