I'M THE LOVER MASTER BABY,
THAT'S RIGHT BABY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
DON'T YOU LAUGH AT THE
LOVE MASTER I COULD CHIP YOUR
TOOTH FROM RIGHT HERE, BABY.
THAT'S RIGHT I'LL TAKE YOU OUT
FOR BREAKFAST.
I CAN HOLD TWO CUPS OF COFFEE
AND A DOZEN DONUTS RIGHT THERE,
BABY.
THAT'S RIGHT OHHHH YEAH, BABY!
I'M AS HARD AS FINAL JEOPARDY!
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.
I WAS CIRCUMCISED BY A BANDSAW.
WHEN I GET EXCITED THE BLOOD
BANK GOES ON EMERGENCY ALERT,
THAT'S RIGHT BABY.
YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?
I GOT FOUR INCHES RIGHT HERE.
SOME WOMAN DON'T LIKE IT
THAT WIDE.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.
I AM THE LOVE MASTER,
MASTER OF LOVE.
ONE NIGHT WITH ME LIKE SWEATIN'
LIKE JESSICA SIMPSON TAKING
THE SAT'S.
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.
I AM THE LOVE MASTER,
MASTER OF LOVE BABY.
YEAH.
WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT
BACK THERE, I'LL STIR YOUR DRINK
FROM RIGHT HERE, BABY.
I GOT A DRINK,
IT'S PENISCOLLASES,
THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH.
YOU WANNA TAKE A PICTURE?
SET THAT CAMERA ON PANORAMA.
YEAH.
I'D SHOW IT TO YOU BUT IT'S
CAUGHT IN MY SHOE.
YEAH.
OH, YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.
YOU THINK IT'S A FAIRY TALE,
WELL, PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON,
BABY.
COME ON AND TELL PINOCCHIO
A LIE.
CLIMB THE MAGIC BEANSTALK BABY,
FEE FI FO FUM, LAY ON DOWN
AND I'LL MAKE YOU...
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA
DO FOR YOU, BABY!
YEAH.
YEAH.
[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]
YEAH.
OH, I'LL LOVE YOU SO GOOD
YOUR NEIGHBOR'LL HAVE A SMOKE,
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.
I DID A GIRL SO GOOD THE POLICE
CAME THREE TIMES, THAT'S RIGHT
BABY, YEAH.
I'LL HAVE YOUR KNEES KNOCKING
LIKE A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS
ON A PLEDGE DRIVE.
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.
YEAH.
OH, YOU'LL BE BREATHING HEAVIER
THAN RUBEN STUDDARD ON A
STAIRMASTER, THAT'S RIGHT BABY.
YEAH, WE'LL HAVE SAFE SEX,
GO GET ME A HEFTY BAG.
YEAH.
ARE YOU IN REAL ESTATE?
CAN YOU TELL ME IS THIS A LOT?
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
YEAH, I GO THE POKEMAN WAITING
RIGHT HERE FOR YOU, BABY.
FIRST I GOTTA GET A PEEK-ACH-EW.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.
YOU LOOK A LITTLE HUNGRY.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT BABY,
I LIKE FRENCH FOOD.
BONE APPETITE BABY.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
YEAH, YOU INTO STAR WARS?
WELL, COME ON UP HERE AND
CHEW BAKA.
[LAUGHTER]
THERE'S SOME PEOPLE STARING
AT ME RIGHT NOW.
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIM?
WHERE'D THE MINI VAN GUY GO?
[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]
I REALIZED THE OTHER DAY
I'M A ROLE MODEL.
I'M A DAD.
MY SON'S GONNA IMITATE ME
IN THE SCHOOLYARD.
"OH YEAH, THAT'S NO RULER
YOU'RE LOOKING AT THERE, BABY.
COME ON AND GET ON THE
TEETER-TOTTER."
I CAN'T WAIT FOR PARENT/TEACHER
DAY.
THIS TEACHER'S GONNA CALL ME IN,
"WHERE'D HE LEARN THAT?"
"RIGHT HERE, BABY.
I BUST UP A COUPLE APPLES
FOR THE TEACHER, COME ON AND
FIND THE WORM."
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]