Proud Thug

Slap-Ass Season 3, Ep 3 10/02/2013 Views: 79,770

A Latin gang trying to hold a meeting struggles against the stubbornness of one of its members. (3:12)

- OKAY,LET'S GET THIS THING GOING.

EVERYBODY TAKE A SEAT.

WE GOT TO HAVEMORE MEETINGS, HOMES,

'CAUSE I'M TELLING YOU, MAN,WE GOT TO GET ORGANIZED.

[sighs]

[police sirens in the distance]

CARLITO AIN'T GOT A SEAT, MAN.SOMEONE GET HIM A CHAIR.

- NO, I'M COOL.

- NO, DUDE, GET HIM A CHAIR,HOMES.

- I'M GONNA SIT GANGSTER.

- BUT, CARLITO, IT DOESN'T LOOKLIKE IT'S COMFORTABLE, MAN.

WHY DON'T YOUJUST SIT IN THE CHAIR?

- I NEVER SITIN NO CHAIR, ESE.

MM-MMM.

YOU NEVER, EVER GON' CATCH MESITTING IN NO CHAIRS.

- HEY, ESE, YOU KNOW THATTHAT'S LOCO, RIGHT?

- NO, MAN.[scoffs]

- IT'S COOL, CARLITO.

NO ONE'S GONNA THINKYOU'RE SOFT

IF YOU SIT IN A CHAIR, HOMES.- YEAH, YEAH.

- WE'RE ALL SITTING IN CHAIRS.- RIGHT.

- BUNCH OF BITCH-ASS CULEROS.

- QUE?- I DON'T HAVE NO TIME

TO SIT IN NO [bleep] CHAIR.

- OKAY.

NOW THAT WE'RE ALL HERE--

YOU KNOW WHAT?BUT WHY, THOUGH?

LIKE, IT DON'T MAKE NO SENSEFOR YOU TO SET YOURSELF UP

WITH A RULE LIKE THAT.

- NO, IT'S, LIKE, LIMITING.- YEAH, LIMITING.

- LIMITING.- I MEAN, SOMETIMES,

PEOPLE SIT IN CHAIRS.

- MAN, [bleep] ALL OF YOU GUYSWITH YOUR BITCH-ASS CHAIRS.

[wood cracks]

- THERE.- [scoffs]

- OKAY, CARLITO, QUIT PLAYINGAND SIT IN THE CHAIR, PENDEJO.

- NO.- CARLITO,

WE HAVE TO HAVE THIS MEETINGNOW, ESE. GET UP!

- I'M GOOD RIGHT HERE, MAN.

- YOU KNOW--- I'M CHILLING.

GO AHEAD WITH YOUR MEETING.

- OKAY, BUT YOU KNOWIT'S GOING TO BE WEIRD.

YOU DON'T CARETHAT IT'S GOING TO BE WEIRD?

- WEIRD FOR YOU, MAYBE.

- HE DOESN'T CARE.OKAY.

OKAY, HOMIES,SO THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE TO DO,

LIKE, WE GOT TO SELLMORE DRUGS...

- [groaning]- AND WE GOT TO MAKE

MORE CRIMES HAPPEN.

ROBERTO, WHERE ARE WE--- [groaning]

- CARLITO,YOU'RE BLEEDING, ESE!

- [grunts]WHO CARES, MAN?

[winces]

- YO, WHOA!YOU JUST GOT SHANKED, MAN!

WE GOT TO PULL THAT OUT!- LEAVE IT!

I'M CHILLING, HOMES.

I DON'T CAREABOUT THAT STUPID SHANK.

[groaning]

[exhales]

- CARLITO.

CARLITO, WAKE UP, MAN!

[radio chatter]

- HEY,DON'T EVEN BOTHER, ESE.

- WHAT?[screams]

OH, DIOS MIO!

- I DON'T NEEDTHOSE DEFIBRILLATORS.

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO COME BACKTO LIFE, HOMES.

- CARLITO,GO BACK INTO YOUR BODY.

- MY BODY'S STUPID, HOMES.- WHAT?

- I'M FINE RIGHT HEREON THE SPIRIT PLANE.

LIFE IS FOR PUSSIES.

[heavenly singing]

- CARLITO.CARLITO, GO TO THE LIGHT.

- NAH, I'M GOOD, MAN.

- CARLITO,THAT'S HEAVEN, MAN.

- I DON'T NEED TO GOTO HEAVEN, HOMES.

HEAVEN IS FOR PUSSIES.- OH, BOY.

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