Donnell Rawlings - Tough Job

Novak, Rawlings, Lawless, Liberman Season 7, Ep 705 12/26/2003 Views: 13,339

Comedy's a tough job. (1:30)

I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.

I'M NOT USED TO PERFORMING

FOR THIS MANY WHITE PEOPLE.

LAST TIME I SAW THIS MANY

WHITE PEOPLE I WAS IN COURT.

[LAUGHTER]

COMEDY'S A TOUGH JOB, MAN.

I'VE GOT FRIENDS THAT GOT COOL

JOBS.

ONE OF MY FRIENDS, HE'S A PORNO

STAR.

GUESS HOW HE GOT DISCOVERED.

THIS GIRL SAT ON HIS LAP

SHE WAS LIKE, "OOH, YOU SHOULD

DO PORNO."

[LAUGHTER]

SAME GIRL SAT ON MY LAP

AND WAS LIKE, "OOH, YOU SHOULD

TELL JOKES."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I JUST HAD A BABY GIRL.

Y'ALL CAN GIVE ME A ROUND

OF APPLAUSE FOR THAT.

BROTHER'S HAD A BABY GIRL.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

MY DAUGHTER WEIGHED 27 POUNDS.

[LAUGHTER]

SHE WAS THREE YEARS OLD.

SHE WAS DELIVERED TO ME

BY WAY OF THE COURT SYSTEM

AND A BLOOD TEST.

[LAUGHTER]

I WAS IN EUROPE SIX MONTHS AGO

I WAS AT AMSTERDAM.

AMSTERDAM IS THE PARTY CITY

OF THE WORLD, MAN.

IN AMSTERDAM, EVERYTHING IS

LEGAL.

MARIJUANA AND PROSTITUTION

IS LEGAL.

BUT THEY DON'T SMOKE--

NO, DON'T CLAP.

THEY DON'T SMOKE ANYWHERE.

THEY GOT WHAT THEY CALL A

COFFEE SHOP.

THEY TRY TO TRICK YOU AND

DISGUISE IT.

THEY COULDN'T TRICK ME.

I WAS DRINKING COFFEE SEVEN DAYS

A WEEK.

I GOT BACK TO NEW YORK, I ALMOST

GOT ARRESTED IN STARBUCKS.

[LAUGHTER]

I WENT TO STARBUCKS, I SAID,

"LET ME GET A NICKEL BAG OF

HAZELNUT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH.

LET ME GET A QUARTER POUND

OF AMARETTO."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]