Robert Kelly - Eating Healthy Sucks

Robert Kelly: Live at the Village Underground Season 1, Ep 1 01/09/2015 Views: 2,888

Robert Kelly just wants his food to be as advanced and convenient as modern technology. (1:53)

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It just sucks cause there's nohelp.

There's nothing out there.

I've been fat my whole life.

And now I gotta goto the gym again.

I've gotta eathealthy, which sucks.

I can't even haveranch dressing.

I have to havevinaigrette, which blech.

Mm, that's the face you making.

Num, num, like you wentdown on an old lady.

That's the same.

I would imagine thatwould be the same.

I've never donethat, but I figured

it's be dusty and a little--hm, what is that, apple?

I've gotta do all that shit.

It just sucks.

I hate it.

I wish they would-- allthe technology we have,

all the amazing shit we can do--

Everybody in theroom has a phone.

That's crazy.

20 years ago, youhad to go home,

if you wanted to use thephone or use the pay phone

and get bum AIDS on you're ear.

Remember that?

You had to go home.

You had to go home tothe room with the phone.

It was one room, not everyroom, with a [beep] cord.

You had to undo it.

Now everybody inthe room-- and you

have a phone in your pocket.

Not just phone, it'sa magic machine.

It has photos andvideos and games.

You can take a video of yournuts and send it to an Eskimo

in an igloo in Alaska.

And he could go, haha, nuts, and laugh.

You can make an Eskimolaugh with your blonde nuts.

It's amazing.

And they can't make an appletaste like mac and cheese?

That shit can't happen?

Take a bite of a green apple.

Five taste buds are like, yay,apples, like five of you guys.

Apples are here, yay.

Take a bite of mac and cheese.

Every taste bud islike, mac and cheese.

Oh, my god, mac and cheese.

Mac and cheese, mac andcheese, mac and cheese.

That's the wayeverything should taste.