Donald Trump Gets Hired: What Do Presidents Do?

Monday, November 14, 2016 11/14/2016 Views: 180

President-elect Donald Trump seems surprised by his new responsibilities, so Arden Myrin, Samm Levine and Doug Benson name a few more that he should know about. (2:36)

Watch Full Episode

Our future president,

slash, amazing sourceof vitamin C, Donald Trump...

-(laughter) ...recently metwith Barack Obama

to go over the transitionof power

and also to ask"What do presidents do?"

(laughter)

This is...

(cheers and applause)

This is the exact moment

of it just sinking in,what he's got to do right here.

And Obama's like,

"Yeah, mother(bleep), that'swhat this (bleep) is about."

-(laughter)-According to CNBC,

aides on Trump's teamwere surprised to learn

the entire West Wing staffwill leave with Obama,

which is a bummer, 'cause Trumpwas really looking forward

to saying, "You're fired!"to a bunch of housekeepers.

-(laughter) -Trump was alsoreportedly planning

to split his time betweenWashington D.C., Trump Tower

and Mar-a-Lago because hedoesn't want this job, you guys!

-He doesn't want to do it.-(applause and cheering)

He didn't think it through.

-He just didn'tthink it through. -Yeah.

Right? This is likea Twilight Zone ending for Trump

where he getshis Faustian bargain.

"You mean I actually haveto do this?! No!"

-Yeah, but... think about it.-(cheers and applause)

He's a billionaire,he's 70 years old.

The next four to eight years

are a considerable chunkof the rest of his life,

and he's gotto (bleep) do it now.

It's hilarious. I mean, it's...

(applause and cheering)

I don't know how funny it isto some people, but

it seems likeDonald doesn't know

what the presidencyactually entails.

He's like America's drunk friend

watching American Ninja Warrior, saying,

-"Yeah, I could do that(bleep)." Except... -(laughter)

"It's not so hard.I could do that (bleep)."

Except now,60 million people were like,

"Okay, then do that (bleep),why don't you?"

-(laughter,applause and cheering) -Now,

comedians,since the president-elect needs

some helping hintsto get started,

what are some other presidentialduties he should know about?

Arden Myrin.

Presiding over the governmentof the United States of America.

-(laughter)-All right.

-All right.-(applause and cheering)

Well, a branch of it.Yeah. Points.

-Judge Doug Benson.-(laughter)

-I...-(laughter)

I don't...

I don't know exactlyhow the custom works, Chris,

but I thinkaround the holidays,

he has to choose a turkeyand grab its lady giblets.

-(laughter)-HARDWICK: All right.

-Points. Yeah.-(applause and cheering)

-Samm Levine.-He's got to

renew trade agreementswith other countries.

He has to negotiate thecease fire in the Middle East.

He has to reducethe federal budget.

I'm just (bleep) with you,Donnie.

Mike Pence will handle all that.Don't worry about it.