Chris Spencer - Prostate Exam

  • Season 2 , Ep 6
  • 02/17/2012
  • Views: 698

Chris Spencer's second prostate exam went a little differently than his first. (2:31)

YOU HAVE TO TAKEA PROSTATE EXAM.

HOW MANY PEOPLE,MEN HERE, BLACK MEN,

IT'S VERY IMPORTANT,HAVE HAD PROSTATE EXAMS?

THE REST OF YOUARE GOING TO DIE.

YOU HAVE TO GETA PROSTATE EXAM.

NOW, LET ME EXPLAIN.

YES, IT SOUNDS NASTY, BUTIT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE, OKAY?

NOW, THE FIRST TIMEI WENT, IT WAS COOL.

HE WENT LIKE THIS--HE PULLED IT OUT.

I WAS LIKE,"EVERYTHING OKAY?"

HE SAID, "YOU'RE FINE--GO AHEAD AND LEAVE."

I WENT AND GOTIT DONE, AGAIN.

IT WASA LITTLE DIFFERENT.

HE PUT IT IN, AND HEWAS THERE FOR A WHILE.

I WAS LIKE,"EVERYTHING OKAY, DOC?"

HE'S LIKE, "YEAH, YEAH."

I'M LIKE, "YOU'VE BEENIN THERE FOR A WHILE.

"DID YOU LOSE YOURWEDDING RING?

"WHAT'S-WHAT'SGOING ON, CHIEF?"

HE'S LIKE, "QUITACTING LIKE A BITCH."

I'M LIKE, "OH, MY GOD--OKAY, I'M SORRY."

I SAID-- HE SAID--I WAS LIKE, "COME ON, MAN.

"LET'S GET IT GOING--"HE SAID, "WHAT'S WRONG?"

I SAID, "YOU'RE [bleep]ME, RIGHT NOW, SIR."

[laughing]

I SAID, "COULD YOU GETOUT OF MY ASS, PLEASE?"

HE'S LIKE, "COME ON, MAN--STOP ACTING LIKE THAT."

I WAS LIKE, "FIRST OF ALL,WHY IS LUTHER PLAYIN'?

"AND WHERE'D THE REDLIGHT COME FROM?

"WHAT'S GOING ON, SIR?"

HE'S LIKE,"WHOSE PROSTATE IS THIS?"

I'M LIKE, "IF YOU DON'TGET OFF ME--" HE'S LIKE,

"QUIT ACTING LIKE A BITCHAND GO GET ME A BEER."

I WAS LIKE [gasp].

"ARE YOU GONNA CALL ME?"

EVERYBODY HERE GOTCELL PHONES, RIGHT?

YEAH?

WHY IS IT, WHEN YOU'REON YOUR CELL PHONE,

AND YOU CAN'T HEAR SOMEBODY,THE ONLY THING YOU CAN HEAR IS,

"I'LL CALL YOU BACK?"

"WHAT'S UP, RUSS--WHERE YOU AT?

"I SAID,WHERE ARE YOU?"

AND WHY DOPEOPLE DO THIS?

THE PHONE IS DESIGNEDTO TALK LIKE THIS.

I HATE PEOPLEWHO DO THIS.

"HA-HA-HA--YOU CRAZY!

"WHERE YOU AT--"THIS IS NOT A C.B.

WHAT ARE YOU?

BREAKER-BREAKERSTOP [bleep], OKAY?

"WHERE YOU AT--YOU A FOOL.

"WHERE YOU AT--I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

"YOU GONNA CALL ME BACK--ALL RIGHT-- CALL ME BACK.

"CALL ME BACK."

AND WHY DO WE GET SO MADWHEN WE CAN'T HEAR 'EM?

"WHERE ARE YOU?

"IT'S YOUR CHEAP PHONE!"I GOT SIX BARS, BITCH.

"I GOT SIX--YOU GONNA CALL ME BACK?

"ALL RIGHT-- CALL ME BACK--CALL ME BACK."

WHAT I ALSO DON'T UNDERSTANDIS, LIKE, TIGER WOODS

AND ALL THESE GUYS ARESTARTING TO GET CAUGHT,

'CAUSE THEYHAVE ONE PHONE.

WHY WOULD TIGER WOODS,WITH ALL THE MONEY HE HAS,

HAVE ONE PHONE?

PHONES ARE $100.

I SAW A BUS-BOYIN THE BACK.

HE HAD A PHONENECKLACE, OKAY?

THEY'RE CHEAP.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN'--IF I HAD TIGER'S MONEY,

I WOULDN'T EVENHAVE A PHONE.

I'D HAVE A BROTHER NAMED"BARRY" ANSWERING ALL MY CALLS.

I'D BE LIKE,"BLACK BARRY, WHO CALLED ME?

"WHO?

"YOU GONNA CALL ME BACK?

"CALL ME BACK-- CALL ME BACK--CALL ME BACK."

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