- [Voiceover] Hey, cuties.
- How's it going, Jay.
- What's up, Jay?
Nice to meet you guys.
Have a seat.
This is Hamed.
- [Hamed] Hi, how are you?
- How you doin' today?
- So nice to meet you.
- How long have you been together?
- Couple months.
- Four months.
- From February.
- How's it goin'?
- It's goin' great.
- So he's the one?
85% of relationships don't work out.
You guys seem like you definitely will,
but like, they won't.
But if you don't, wejust wanna protect you.
So, Hamed is a notary.
We're gonna draw up a contract for you two,
that once you break up, you'll know how to proceed.
Where did you guys have your first date?
- At El Compadre.
- So, if you break up, who get's that restaurant?
- Me, I don't care, youdon't have a choice.
- You live in Santa Monica.
- I love that place.
- So, El Compadre, put that down, okay.
Do you guys have any petnames for each other?
- She calls me Officer Schmoopy.
That is a real deal.
- Would you guys ever call each other "Snuffles,"?
- Yeah, I would definitely call you that.
I mean, "Schmoopy," and "Snuffles,"-
- I wouldn't call you "Snuffles,"
you're not a "Snuffles."
- What do you think I am?
- You're the Burger Queen.
- You guys share music tastes?
- Okay, what's your favorite artist
that you share in common?
- The Weekend.
- I never would have guessed.
- I know you would've.
- So, in the event that you break up,
and Lana Del Rey comes to town,
who's gonna get to go to her concert?
- He does.
- Christopher may have Lana Del Rey.
Is there anyone that you would be willing to give her?
- Yeah, I mean, you can go to the NBA game, you know.
- An NBA game?
Do you like the NBA?
- She loves just, you know, big-
- Black guys.
- Running around.
- Big black guys running around?
- So you could have that.
- So she can just have all the big black guys
running around that she wants.
Let's talk about sex.
Write down the minimum amount of times in a month
that you would like to have sex,
and if it drops below this number,
that you would like to have a talk about things.
Leia says, 18, 20.
- I almost said 20.
And then I thought itwas a little ridiculous.
- [Man] No, 20's not ridiculous.
- [Leia] I know.
- [Man] We can make that happen.
- [Leia] We can make it happen, yeah.
- CJ has written five times.
Five times a month you expect it,
and that is a problem if you don't get five, okay?
- [CJ] So I'm gonna be honest with you.
I smoke a little bud, and I get tired,
you know what I'm sayin'?
What she got, two?
- Alright guys.
Let's sign these.
Sign these contracts nowbecause you gotta get
outta here, you have a lot of fucking to do.
- Is this forever?
- Is this forever?