Garfunkel and Oates - Weed Card

Garfunkel and Oates Season 1, Ep 5 06/08/2012 Views: 9,430

After spending time in California, Garfunkel and Oates realized how many ailments could be treated with marijuana. (2:14)

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So does anybody heresmoke weed?

Yeah.All right.

Well, in Californiait is really easy

to get yourmedical marijuana card.

I just got mine... Woo!

For insomnia and depression.

Yay! (chuckles)

I didn't know

you weren't supposedto put real things so...

You can basically haveany ailment

and qualifyfor your weed card.

So we wrote a songabout how easy it is.


♪ Everyone knowsmarijuana's dangerous ♪

♪ And medical potis really strong ♪

♪ That's why it's so hardin California ♪

♪ To get your weed card unlesssomething's really wrong ♪

♪ Going to pay a visitto my doctor ♪

♪ It's a long shot,but I got to try ♪

♪ She hands me a listof all the ailments ♪

♪ I can have to qualify

♪ Can't believewhat I am reading ♪

♪ This is justwhat I've been needing ♪

♪ The government supplyto get legally high ♪

♪ Weed card.

♪ That's what I need

♪ Hardly ever okay, always

♪ But it's not an addiction

♪ Because my doctorgave me a prescription ♪

♪ You can get your cardfor having headaches ♪♪ Messed up

♪ Migraines or anxiety ♪ Messed up

♪ Propensity for drugsor alcohol ♪♪ Messed up

♪ Going to get anorexiaor obesity ♪♪ Messed up

♪ Too fat, too thin

♪ Either way you win

♪ Carpal tunnel syndrome,color blindness ♪♪ Messed up

♪ It's stuttering,tooth decay ♪♪ Messed up

♪ Fatigue, depression,motion sickness ♪ ♪ Messed up

♪ Impotence or TMJ ♪ Messed up

♪ You can smoketo quit cigarettes ♪

♪ For asthma ormother(bleep) Tourette's ♪

♪ It's a dream come true

♪ There's nothing pot can't do

♪ Weed card

♪ That's what I need

♪ Hardly ever, okay, always

♪ But it's not an addiction

♪ 'Cause my doctorgave me a prescription ♪

♪ Break it down now

♪ Got back pain,need Mary Jane ♪

♪ Can't handle this,need cannabis ♪

♪ Got a stomachache,gotta wake and bake ♪

♪ Have an injury, need THC

♪ Get nucked upfor your hyperhydrosis ♪

♪ Which is sweaty palmsin case you need a diagnosis ♪


♪ It's not a crime

♪ It's 420 time

♪ Weed card

♪ That's what I need

♪ Hardly ever, okay, always

♪ But it's not an addiction

♪ 'Cause my doctorgave me a prescription. ♪