Jake Johannsen - Finding Love

  • Season 7 , Ep 9
  • 04/03/2003
  • Views: 2,604

Jake ends his cycle of bad choices in love. (2:20)

Jake Johannsen: THE WORLD'S

GETTING TO BE A CRAZY PLACE,

YOU KNOW?

LUCKILY, MY PERSONAL LIFE

IS ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD.

THIS HAS BEEN A GOOD YEAR

FOR ME.

ACTUALLY, I GOT JUST GOT

MARRIED.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

YEAH.

THANK YOU.

THAT'S NICE.

IT'S NICE TO HEAR PEOPLE CLAP,

BECAUSE WHEN I WOULD TELL PEOPLE

I WAS ENGAGED THEY WOULD CLAP.

AND THEN, THAT ALWAYS FELT LIKE

THAT THING, YOU KNOW,

WHERE YOU'RE ON THE DOCK ABOUT

TO DIVE IN, AND YOUR FRIENDS

ARE ALREADY IN THE FREEZING COLD

WATER, LIKE "COME ON IN,

IT'S GREAT."

(LAUGHTER)

BUT THIS ACTUALLY REALLY IS

GREAT, BECAUSE I FINALLY FOUND

THE RIGHT WOMAN, YOU KNOW, YEAH.

I HAD, WELL--

(APPLAUSE)

I HAD A BAD STRING.

I KEPT FALLING IN LOVE WITH

THE WRONG WOMEN, YOU KNOW.

(BLEEP).

(LAUGHTER)

THAT, YOU KNOW, THAT WE'VE ALL

AT LEAST HAD ONE OF THOSE

HEART BREAK SITUATIONS,

YOU KNOW, WHERE--

I MEAN, IT MAKES SENSE THAT

WE WOULD HAVE ONE.

IF LOVE WAS EASY, THERE WOULD BE

ALMOST NO MUSIC.

(LAUGHTER)

VERY LITTLE COUNTRY MUSIC.

AND AH...

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

BUT IT WAS--

I KEPT PICKING THE WRONG WOMEN.

IT WAS TOTALLY MY FAULT.

I WAS THE BAD--

YOU KNOW, WE ALL WANT TO LEARN

FROM OUR MISTAKES, WE ALL WANT

TO BE THAT SMART LABORATORY

ANIMAL THAT GOES FOR THE

CORN WIRED TO THE ELECTRICITY.

HE'S LIKE, "HEY, CORN."

(ZAPPING SOUND)

CAREFUL.

YOU KNOW, I WISH.

I'M NOT THAT--

I'M-- "HEY, CORN."

(ZAPPING SOUND)

"HEY, CORN."

(ZAPPING SOUND)

(LAUGHTER)

"FREE CORN."

(ZAPPING SOUND)

BUT--

I FINALLY FOUND MY WIFE,

AND SHE'S GREAT.

TURNS OUT SHE'S FROM

NEW ZEALAND, WHICH IS WHY I HAD

TROUBLE FINDING HER...

(LAUGHTER)

BECAUSE SHE STARTED OFF ON THE

OTHER SIDE OF THE DAMN EARTH.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

IF SHE'DA BEEN ANY FURTHER AWAY,

SHE'D HAVE BEEN CLOSER.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT--

YEAH.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

BUT THE WEDDING WAS GREAT.

THE PLANNING--

THE WEDDING WAS BEAUTIFUL.

THE PLANNING OF THE WEDDING

WAS INTENSE.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE EVER--

I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT WOMEN,

BUT I DO KNOW THAT THEY ALL WANT

TO GET MARRIED IN FAIRYLAND

BY KING NEPTUNE.

AND--

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

YEAH.

AND AS A GUY, YOU'RE THE ASS

WHO'S TRYING TO BRING THAT IN

UNDER BUDGET.

(LAUGHTER)

ALL MY IDEAS WERE LIKE,

INSTEAD OF NEPTUNE,

CAN MY FRIEND JUST WEAR

A SEAFOOD DIAPER, AND CARRY

A BIG FORK, HOW ABOUT THAT?

BUT IT ALL WORKED OUT.

AND IT'S GREAT TO BE MARRIED.

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