Zach Galifianakis - Marcus the Timid Pimp

  • Season 5 , Ep 12
  • 09/16/2001
  • Views: 71,318

THIS FIRST CHARACTER I'VE BEEN

WORKING ON IS CALLED THE TIMID

PIMP.

AND HE'S ON THE PHONE WITH ONE

OF HIS HOOKERS, HERE YOU GO--

THE TIMID PIMP...

"UM, HI, AMBER?

HI, HI, IT'S MARCUS.

YEAH, I CAN HOLD."

(LAUGHTER)

ALL RIGHT, THIS NEXT

CHARACTER...

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

OKAY.

THIS--

THIS NEXT CHARACTER

I'M WORKING ON IS CALLED

THE APATHETIC REDNECK AND HE'S

ON THE PHONE WITH HIS BROTHER

WHO'S GETTING READY TO GET

THE DEATH PENALTY...

"YEAH, MAN, THAT SUCKS ABOUT

THE DEATH PENALTY.

YEAH, MOMMA TOLD ME."

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH

YOUR CAMARO?"

(LAUGHTER)

I JUST REALIZED HOW STUPID ALL

THESE ARE.

(APPLAUSE AND WHISTLES)

OKAY, THIS NEXT CHARACTER

I'VE BEEN WORKING ON FOR A WHILE

IS CALLED THE GAY SNAKE...

(HISSING WITH A LISP)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I REALLY WANT TO LEAVE NEW YORK

CITY VERY BADLY, BUT I JUST PUT

$6,000 ON MY METRO CARD.

(LAUGHTER)

GROWING UP, MY DAD WAS LIKE,

"ZACH, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY,

IT'S HOW YOU SAY IT."

AND HE'S SO RIGHT.

TAKE THIS SENTENCE FOR

INSTANCE...

SHE HAD A CRACK BABY.

VERSES... SHE HAD A CRACK, BABY!

(LAUGHTER)

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