-(laughter, applause & cheering)-This weekend...
45 hosted JapanesePrime Minister Shinzo Abe
for a weekendhe'd never forget.
Prime Minister Abe, on behalfof the American people,
I welcome youto the very famous White House.
You know what makesThe White House famous
-is that you don't have to sayit's famous. -(laughter)
Like, does Trump thinkwe only know about the place
because now he lives there?Is that how this works?
Also, you don't haveto explain The White House
to the Japanese prime minister.
He's probably spentmore time there
than you have, Donald Trump.
Now, this was a state visit withAmerica's number one Asian ally
to discuss military policyin the South China Sea,
negotiate a trade dealthat will replace the TPP,
and most importantly,
how to contain a hostile actorlike North Korea.
These are very complex issues
and can be very hardto understand,
especiallyif you're not listening.
WOMAN: Shinzo Abe showering praise today
on the president's business acumen.
But it's not clear if the president understood all of it.
He was not wearingthe translation earpiece
for a lotof today's news conference.
I reached out to White Houseaides about that specifically
'cause he appeared to be engagedin the conversation.
He was nodding and was laughing
in the right places,so to speak.
A senior administration officialnow tells me
that President Trump,to the best of their knowledge,
does not speak Japanese.
To the best of their knowledgedoes not speak Japanese?
How do Trump's advisors not knowwhat languages he speaks?
This is like themgoing around like,
"Well, he saidhe doesn't speak Japanese,
"but he also saidhe'd release his tax returns,
-so who the hell knows?Who knows?" -(laughter)
What do you mean?Although knowing Trump,
he was probably a little cockyafterwards, you know?
They were like,"Do you understand?"
He's like,"I understood every word.
"Everybody was Kung Fu fighting.
"All their kickswere fast as lightning.
-Next question. Next question.Next question." -(laughter)
You know what... you knowwhat it makes you realize?
Trump was noddingand smiling in agreement,
like, "Yes, yes, I'm with you,yes, yes, I'm with you."
Like, in my head I go, maybethat's how policy sounds to him.
Like, he didn't realize Shinzowas speaking Japanese,
he just thoughthe was using those words
that real politicians use.
Like, maybe whenthe CIA briefs Trump,
it sounds like Japanese to him.They come and they're like,
"Sir," and thenhe's like, "What is it?"
And then they're like...(mimicking Japanese)
And he's like, "Yeah, got it.Go ahead, go ahead.
It all sounds the same."
So then, after-after half a dayof Trump cluelessly nodding
and giving a thumb's-upwhenever Abe spoke,
the two headed downto the even more famous...
Winter White House,
NEWSWOMAN: It's been a busy day, a day of "golf diplomacy,"
as we could put it.
The president and prime minister
spent about four hours on the links
at the Trump National Golf Club in Jupiter.
We know from a source that the two shared
the golf cart together.
He also tweeted a picture of himself
high-fiving the Japanese prime minister.
Well, actually,that's not a high five.
-Trump was just measuringhand size. -(laughter)
(like Trump): See?Totally normal, totally normal.
Now... now, I know...
I know certain peopleare up in arms
at the fact that Trumpis spending every weekend
at a golf resort,especially considering
how much he slammed Obamafor his golfing trips.
But look,this is the Trump presidency
we all expected, right?
Wheeling and dealingon a golf course.
Sure, the settingis unconventional,
but what's the worstthat could happen?
NEWSWOMAN: Breaking newsat this hour here on CNN.
Confirmation nowthat North Korea has launched
some type of ballistic missile.
It is the first time North Koreahas launched
such a ballistic missileduring the Trump presidency.
We know he's meetingwith the Japanese prime minister
this eveningfor a working dinner.
NEWSMAN: It was a way of the North Korean leadership
getting the attention of President Trump
and the Japanese prime minister
at a moment when they were having their first meeting.
They look likethey're having so much fun.
They're just like,"Yeah-heh-heh!"
To be fair, though, Kim Jong-un
has that teamcheering behind him
whenever he watches anything.
Whatever's on TV.
But this is why Trumpcalls Mar-a-Lago
the Winter White House.
See, a lot of peopledon't know this,
but since coming into office,Trump's Florida resort
has been outfittedwith state-of-the-art facilities
so that he can handleany global crisis
with the utmost security and privacy.
I'm (bleep) with you.
NEWSMAN: The president responded to North Korea's test launch
with urgent talks on an open terrace
at Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach, where patrons were in earshot
snapping photos and posting them online.
The dining room at Mar-a-Lago,the president's private estate,
became sort of an open-airSituation Room.
That's the kind of conversationyou would normally have
in a classified environment.
They began consulting theiraides, consulting documents.
The aides even using their iPhones
to offer them more light to see the documents,
because this was a candlelit dinner.
To see that happenin such a public setting there,
with lots of...lots of eavesdroppers,
it raisessome genuine questions.
Now, Trump respondedto North Korea after this,
but part of me goes,thank God Shinzo Abe was there.
Because reportedly, he didn'twant to say anything about it.
Shinzo was like:No, we are leaders,
we have to speak.
Like, Trumpwas basically cheating
off the smart Asian kid,that's what he was doing.
(like Trump): And-and whatdo I do in this situation?
Can I see your work, Shinzo?What do you say?
Okay, what's the next answer?
Thanks, Shinzo. You're the best.
Mom, can Shinzo stay over?
And it wasn't just the lighting.
It's the factthat random civilians
in the Mar-a-Lago dining roomwere watching
two world leaders deal witha missile crisis. Right there.
They were taking picswith the staff members
who got America's launch codes.
They took a picture with the man
who has what's knownas the "football,"
identified him by name,and they posted photos
of all of that in real timeon Facebook!
You had one bad date in college,and now we're all gonna die.