The Colbert Report

Republican Debate - Diversity

Season 3 • 05/07/2007

John McCain will follow Osama bin Laden to Hell, which is a cakewalk compared to a Baghdad market.

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00:10

Sign Off - Impatiens
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Stephen has to get his inpatients in this weekend.
05/03/2007
06:20

Conn Iggulden
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Conn Iggulden tells Stephen why it's so important for boys to play dangerous games.
05/03/2007
00:28

Intro - 5/3/07
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Secularism is spreading through Europe, Stephen profiles Virginia's 11th District, and guest Conn Igguden talks about the importance of childhood games.
05/03/2007
06:08

Better Know a District - Virginia's 11th - Tom Davis
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen asks Tom Davis if he'd be willing to be tagged and fitted with a radio collar as part of the Republicans' captive breeding program.
05/03/2007
03:55

The Word - The Unquisition
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Atheists have finally joined the game and they're selling it hard, including their own manifesto and de-baptisms.
05/03/2007
04:27

Cheating Death - Vaxadrin
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Vaxadrin is the only weight loss pill recommended by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA.
05/07/2007
00:27

Intro - 5/7/07
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Democrats widen the definition of hate crime, Stephen introduces a new segment on health, and Richard Preston tells Stephen about people having sex in trees.
05/07/2007
03:34

The Word - The Intolerant
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Stephen suggests a love crimes bill, which would prohibit intolerance of anyone who loves God so much that he cannot tolerate his fellow man.
05/07/2007
02:06

Bonjour, Mon Frere
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen thinks he had something to do with the election of new French President Nicolas Sarkozy since he doesn't pronounce the "T" in his last name.
05/07/2007
06:01

Richard Preston
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Richard Preston tells Stephen about people who have sex in hammocks in giant tress.
05/07/2007
03:20

Republican Debate - Diversity
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Last week's Republican presidential debate featured all the big hitters in the big tent.
05/07/2007
03:49

The Word - Rendered Moot
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Hillary Clinton's refusal to admit a mistake is her most presidential attribute.
05/08/2007
06:30

ThreatDown - Oprah
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Current threats include Oprah, publicists, Austrian animal rights activists, spiders and Knut, the abandoned polar bear.
05/08/2007
00:30

Intro - 5/8/07
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Tonight, Stephen reports on Hillary Clinton's repeal, details Oprah's presidential candidate pick and interviews author Nassim Nicholas Taleb.
05/08/2007
03:14

Shout Out! - USS Rhode Island
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Stephen Colbert names the USS Rhode Island the official ballistic missile submarine of The Colbert Report.
05/08/2007
05:56

Nassim Nicholas Taleb
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Nassim Nicholas Taleb's book, "The Black Swan," is about the power of randomness. Coincidentally, he was also the winner of Stephen's Pull a Guest Out of a Hat Sweepstakes.
05/08/2007
01:03

Kiss the Host
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen's interview with Jane Fonda is going to be all business. Just the same, he should look his best.
05/09/2007
05:06

Salman Rushdie
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Salman Rushdie comes out of hiding to tell Stephen about the importance of literary criticism.
05/09/2007
00:49

Mother's Day
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Stephen reminds us that Sunday is Mother's Day.
05/09/2007
00:28

Sign Off - Bedtime Recipe
The Colbert ReportS3

If you are having trouble sleeping soundly, Stephen has a recipe for bedtime.
05/09/2007
00:30

Intro - 5/9/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Newspapers stop running book reviews, Fred Thompson's acting career may hurt his chances for a presidential run, and Stephen asks Jane Fonda about "The Flying Nun" years.
05/09/2007
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