Uh... all right, now it's timefor tonight's #HashtagWars.
Oh, my God.Next weekend marks the release
of Fifty Shades Darker.
-(cheering)-Oh, my God, you guys.
We're, like... we're,like, a hundred shades dark
at this point--that's (bleep) dark.
-(laughter)-The second film in the trilogy
is based on the erotic novelsof E.L. James,
short for Everybody Loves James.
I don't know if you guysknew that or not,
but that's what that stands for.
There is a long, hard,glistening history
of sex in literature...
This is true. Even James Joycehad a fart fetish.
Here's a 100% real love letterto his wife.
He wrote-- you know, I feellike you should read this.
-Will you read this with youraccent, please? Sure. -Okay.
(Irish accent):"You had an arse full of farts
"that night, darling,and I (bleep) them out of you,
"big (bleep) fellows,long windy ones,
"quick little merry cracks
"and a lot of tiny littlenaughty farties
ending in a long gushfrom your hole."
Yes, perfect. Hundredextra points for Aisling Bea
for making thatsocially appropriate.
JOBRANI:Hey, man, if-if that's not
an audio book,I don't know what is.
That's got to be an audio book.
Okay, so, comedians, in honorof these ribald writers,
tonight's hashtag is#HornyAuthors.
Examples might be--J.O. Rowling,
and, uh, Oscar Girls Gone Wildewould be another one.
And 60 seconds, and begin.
Um, Maya Neck Maya BackMaya Pussy and Maya Angelou.
-(cheering)-Points! Oh, very good!
Very, very good.
-Whore Vidal.-Yes, points.
-Dave. -Victor Hugoto the Bathroom on My Chest.
Thank you. Thank you.
-Uh, Handsy Christian Andersen.-Yes, points!
-Maz.-E.E. Cummings in My Mouth.
-Yes, points.-(laughter, shouting)
Engorged Bernard Shaw.
Yes, points! Maz.
-Stephen King Sized Penis.-Yes, points.
Uh... uh, Dave.
-Deep Throat Chopra.-Yes, points.
Uh, Emily Dick-inson.
-Yes, points.-Which is not really...