#HashtagWars - #HornyAuthors

Wednesday, February 1, 2017 02/01/2017 Views: 193

Maz Jobrani, Aisling Bea and David Koechner make up hot and heavy aliases for celebrated authors. (2:19)

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Uh... all right, now it's timefor tonight's #HashtagWars.

(cheering)

Oh, my God.Next weekend marks the release

of Fifty Shades Darker.

-(cheering)-Oh, my God, you guys.

We're, like... we're,like, a hundred shades dark

at this point--that's (bleep) dark.

-(laughter)-The second film in the trilogy

is based on the erotic novelsof E.L. James,

short for Everybody Loves James.

I don't know if you guysknew that or not,

but that's what that stands for.

There is a long, hard,glistening history

of sex in literature...

This is true. Even James Joycehad a fart fetish.

Here's a 100% real love letterto his wife.

He wrote-- you know, I feellike you should read this.

-Will you read this with youraccent, please? Sure. -Okay.

(Irish accent):"You had an arse full of farts

"that night, darling,and I (bleep) them out of you,

"big (bleep) fellows,long windy ones,

"quick little merry cracks

"and a lot of tiny littlenaughty farties

ending in a long gushfrom your hole."

Yes, perfect. Hundredextra points for Aisling Bea

for making thatsocially appropriate.

JOBRANI:Hey, man, if-if that's not

an audio book,I don't know what is.

That's got to be an audio book.

Okay, so, comedians, in honorof these ribald writers,

tonight's hashtag is#HornyAuthors.

Examples might be--J.O. Rowling,

and, uh, Oscar Girls Gone Wildewould be another one.

And 60 seconds, and begin.

Uh, Aisling.

Um, Maya Neck Maya BackMaya Pussy and Maya Angelou.

-(cheering)-Points! Oh, very good!

Very, very good.

David Koechner.

-Whore Vidal.-Yes, points.

-Dave. -Victor Hugoto the Bathroom on My Chest.

(laughter, groans)

Thank you. Thank you.

Uh, Aisling.

-Uh, Handsy Christian Andersen.-Yes, points!

-Maz.-E.E. Cummings in My Mouth.

-Yes, points.-(laughter, shouting)

Uh, Aisling.

Engorged Bernard Shaw.

Yes, points! Maz.

-Stephen King Sized Penis.-Yes, points.

-(cheering)-Very good.

Uh... uh, Dave.

-Deep Throat Chopra.-Yes, points.

(laughing):Deep...

Aisling.

Uh, Emily Dick-inson.

-Yes, points.-Which is not really...