Barry Rothbart - Eating Like an Eight-Year-Old on Death Row

Barry Rothbart Season 4, Ep 4 09/05/2015 Views: 1,155

Barry Rothbart goes into detail about his uneven exercise habits and terrible diet. (1:44)

You know, people look at me

and they're just like,"How are you so toned?"

I get that a lot, you know.

How do you get those tittieslooking the way they do?

How do you do that?

I learned recently,a guy in L.A. told me

that you have to confuseyour muscles.

I found that out,so here's what I do.

Guys, pay attention--here's my workout regiment.

15 minutes of legs,

then I take six monthsto a year off,

no working out.

I'm eating mostly fast foodand my body's just like,

"Are we muscles?Are we fat?

"I don't know what we are.

"We feel like fat--we're so confused right now.

"You've been eatinglike an eight-year-old

on death rowfor the last three months."

That's right.

I eat like an eight-year-oldon death row.

Like an eight-year-old who'sbeen convicted of a kid crime.

Like stealing the mayor's shoes.

And then he's like,"I want to eat Panda Express

twice in the same airport."

I did that.

I ate Panda Expresstwice in the same airport.

Do you know what happens?

You poop out a live puppy.I pup...

I pooped out a puppy.

I pooped outa puppy!

And then that poopy--that puppy poopy

pooped out another poopy puppy.

And then that puppyate Long John Silver's

and died in the toilet.

I love Long John Silver's.

They're the best.

I hope they're sponsors,you know?

They're the best.

But it's weird, you go thereand even they're just like,

"Are you sure?

"Did you see the sign?

"It says Long John Silver's.

"We serve fish for a dollarin a landlocked town.

"You want this?You want this?!

"Okay.Evan, get out here!

"Someone wants it!

"Well wake him up!"