Cory Kahaney - Exercise

  • Season 8 , Ep 27
  • 06/10/2004
  • Views: 1,545

Yoga is too spiritual for Cory. (1:32)

TRYIN' TO LOSE A FEW POUNDS,

YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE I WANNA GET

A SITCOM.

AND YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE A

25-POUND MAX TO BE ON

TELEVISION, SO I GOT A FEW MORE

TO GO.

AND I'M GETTING TO THAT AGE

WHERE, YOU KNOW, DIETING

DOESN'T WORK, YOU GOTTA

EXERCISE.

AND I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING

I LIKE, YOU KNOW?

I READ AN ARTICLE THAT SAID,

"GO BACK TO WHEN YOU WERE

A CHILD AND DO WHATEVER YOU DID

THEN NOW."

I MEAN, THAT'S--

THAT DIDN'T WORK FOR ME.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S NOT A

SINGLE GYM IN AMERICA THAT HAS

DODGE BALL, I'LL TELL YA THAT

RIGHT NOW.

[LAUGHTER]

I SIGNED UP FOR YOGA, ANYONE,

YOGA?

'CAUSE-- RIGHT?

[APPLAUSE]

WELL, I HEARD YOU GET TO DO THE

EXERCISES LAYING DOWN, SO I

SIGNED RIGHT UP FOR THAT.

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT A RIP-OFF THAT WAS.

FIRST OF ALL, IT'S HARD.

SECOND OF ALL, VERY SPIRITUAL.

DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GONNA BE

SO SPIRITUAL.

OH, MY GOD.

THEY WANT YOU TO MEDITATE.

UGH!

I CAN'T DO ANYTHING TOO

SPIRITUAL.

SOON AS IT GETS SPIRITUAL,

I THINK THERE'S GONNA BE

COOL-AID AT THE END AND WE'RE

ALL GONNA DIE.

I DON'T LIKE SPIRITUAL.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

BUT THEY DON'T GIVE YOU A

CHOICE!

YOU GET NO CHOICE.

THEY TALK YOU THROUGH THE

MEDITATION.

IT'S LIKE A GUIDED MEDITATION.

THE LADY'S LIKE, "CLEAR YOUR

MIND....

OF ALL THOUGHTS."

AND THE SECOND SHE SAYS THAT,

ALL THESE CRAZY THOUGHTS COME

POURING IN.

YOU KNOW LIKE, "WHAT TIME DOES

THE POST OFFICE CLOSE?

WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG FOR

AN OUT-OF-STATE CHECK TO CLEAR?

IS IT WRONG TO USE THOSE RETURN

ADDRESS LABELS WITHOUT DONATING

TO THE CHARITIES?"

[LAUGHTER]

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