Paul Gilmartin - Take No Chances

  • Season 8 , Ep 25
  • 05/27/2004
  • Views: 2,177

Paul Gilmartin: SO HOW DO WE

ENJOY OUR LIVES?

THE FBI'S GOT US TOTALLY FREAKED

OUT.

IT'S YELLOW.

IT'S ORANGE.

IT'S PURPLE.

[LAUGHTER]

THEY TELL US TO BE ON THE

LOOKOUT FOR ANYTHING UNUSUAL,

ANYTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY.

CALL US.

I CALLED THEM.

I'D NEVER SEEN A BLACK GUY ON

FIGURE SKATES.

[LAUGHTER]

ALL OF A SUDDEN, I'M THE BIG

ASS[BLEEP].

[LAUGHTER]

IRONICALLY, NOW I'M ON THE

FBI LIST.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]]

I'M AFRAID TO GO TO VEGAS 'CAUSE

THEY TALK ABOUT VEGAS BEING A

PRIME AL QAEDA THREAT.

THAT'S WHERE THEY'RE GOING TO

STRIKE, THEY SAY.

I DON'T KNOW.

THERE'S SO MUCH SENSORY OVERLOAD

TO BEGIN WITH IN VEGAS.

YOU WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW [BLEEP]

WAS GOING DOWN FOR THE FIRST

20 MINUTES.

YOU'D THINK IT WAS SOME NEW

HOTEL.

HOLY [BLEEP]!

LOOK AT THAT!

OH, THAT'S GOT TO BE EXPENSIVE.

[LAUGHTER]

THOSE CIRQUE DE SOLEIL PEOPLE

HAVE LET THEMSELVES GO.

THAT GUY DIDN'T GET ANYWHERE

NEAR A TRAPEZE.

[LAUGHTER]

I DON'T GIVE A [BLEEP] IF GAS

IS $4 A GALLON.

I JUST WANT TO BE HONEST IN

THE WAY THAT WE DEAL WITH OTHER

COUNTRIES.

AND YOU KNOW, THESE PEOPLE IN

OUR COUNTRY THAT DON'T THINK

THAT OUR GAS CONSUMPTION HAS

ANYTHING TO DO WITH WHY WE HAVE

TO INVADE OTHER COUNTRIES,

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

IT'S LIKE PEOPLE THAT DRIVE A

GAS GUZZLING SUV AND THEY PUT

A FLAG ON IT, YOU KNOW, THAT'S

LIKE A WHORE WEARING A ROSARY.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

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