"I'm doing it, Sex in the City, why am I an adult man

referencing Sex in the City?" moment.

And I finally got it

when I shat my pantson the subway.

I was.., I was verygrumbly in my tumbly,

like Winnie the Pooh.

Emphasis on the "pooh."

Uh, and the worst part was,

I was on my wayto a job interview.

So I had to clean myself up.

I went to this free

public restroom service,

Starbucks, that they have.

And there was no toilet paper,

so I had to use

my job résuméto clean myself up.

'Cause that's whatMacGyver would do.

I show up to the interview20 minutes late,

and the guy's like,"Uh, you're late

and you don't have a résumé."

And I was like,

(stilted):"I'm sorry, sir.

"What happened was,I shat my pants

"and I just want you to know

"that that's the kindof honesty and integrity

"that I will bringto your Pinkberry store

if you hire me."