Scott Kennedy - Pink Neck

Kennedy, Naturman, Arnez J., Paravonian Season 5, Ep 506 11/09/2001 Views: 1,681

Scott is a big gay guy from Texas. (1:56)

I REALLY AM A GOOD COOK.

AND PEOPLE REALLY FREAK OUT

WHEN I SAY THAT.

I TELL MY FRIENDS ALL THE TIME

"I'M A REALLY GOOD COOK."

AND THEY ALWAYS GO "REALLY!"

THEY'RE THAT SHOCKED.

THEY GO "REALLY!"

LOOK AT ME.

WHY WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED

THAT I CAN COOK?

YOU KNOW, IT'S--

THE ONLY WAY YOU SHOULD BE

THAT SURPRISED IF I SAY

"HEY, I TEACH AEROBICS."

"REALLY!"

THAT SHOULD--

YEAH.

YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THAT, RIGHT?

THERE'S NOT WAY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

OH, MY GOD.

THE OTHER THING IS PEOPLE

ARE SURPRISED WHEN I TELL THEM

I'M GAY.

I REALLY AM GAY.

I KNOW YOU GUYS--

I'M FROM TEXAS AND YOU THOUGHT

I WAS GONNA BE A BIG RED NECK.

BUT I'M ACTUALLY A PINK NECK.

THAT MAY FREAK YOU ALL OUT.

I AM.

IF IT FREAKS YOU OUT, IT FREAKED

ME OUT WHEN I FIGURED THE WHOLE

THING OUT, BELIEVE ME.

THANK GOD I WAS AT MILITARY

SCHOOL.

HO-HO-HO.

YEAH.

YEAH.

YOU'RE PARENTS KNOW WHAT'S BEST.

TRUST ME.

I, AH--

I AM A BIG GAY GUY.

I'M FROM TEXAS.

I LIVE IN LOS ANGELES NOW.

I LIVE IN WEST HOLLYWOOD,

CALIFORNIA.

WHICH, AH, IS VERY GAY.

AS A GAY MAN I WALK OUTSIDE

EVERYDAY AND GO "OH, MY GOD.

THIS IS GAY."

IT IS VERY GAY.

IT IS.

IT IS SO GAY.

WOW.

I'M IN LOVE WITH THE BAND

"BLINK-182".

I LOVE THAT BAND.

I'M NOT EVEN GONNA LIE.

(CHEERING)

THE ONLY REASON I'M SAYING THAT

RIGHT NOW, THERE'S NOT A JOKE.

I JUST WANT THEM TO SEE IT ON

T.V.

I LOVE THAT BAND, "BLINK-182".

YOU HAVE A BIG GAY GUY THAT'S

IN LOVE WITH YOU "BLINK-182".

RUN.

RUN FAST.

I, AH--

I'M TOTALLY FALLING IN LOVE

LATELY WITH 18 YEAR OLD BASEBALL

PLAYERS.

OH, MY GOD.

LOOK AT ALL THE STRAIGHT WOMEN.

WELL, GET IN LINE, FAT BOY.

SO DO WE.

YEAH.

RIGHT?

'CAUSE THEY'RE ADORABLE.

RIGHT?

BUT I JUST DON'T FALL IN LOVE

BECAUSE THEY'RE ADORABLE,

I ALSO LOVE BASEBALL.

THAT'S ARE NATIONAL PASTIME.

I LOVE IT.

I GO TO ALL THE COLLEGE FRESHMAN

PRACTICES AND HOME GAMES.

I SIT IN THE STANDS AND I YELL

MY HEART OUT FOR THAT TEAM.

YOU KNOW, PARENTS WILL ACTUALLY

LEAN OVER AND GO "WHICH ONE'S

YOURS?"

AND I GO "I HAVEN'T MADE UP

MY MIND YET."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)