Garfunkel and Oates - Pregnant Women Are Smug

  • Season 1 , Ep 105
  • 06/08/2012
  • Views: 8,706

Garfunkel and Oates let pregnant women know how they feel about them. (2:59)

Riki was hanging outwith three friends

and they were all pregnant.Mm-hmm.

And out of nowhere, one of themturned to me and she goes,

"What do you even do all day?"

I said, "What do you mean?"

She goes "Well, I can't justreally remember

"what I didbefore I was pregnant

because it all seemedso meaningless."

Yeah. (chuckles)

Yeah, so this song is for her.(chuckles)

♪ Pregnant women are smug

♪ Everyone knows it,nobody says it ♪

♪ Because they're pregnant

♪ Effing son of a gun

♪ You think you're so deep now,you give me the creeps ♪

♪ Now that you're pregnant

♪ I can't countall the ways how ♪

♪ You speak in clichés now

So, do you wanta boy or girl?

Oh, doesn't matter,as long as it's healthy.Really?

'Cause I don't feel that thosetwo things are related at all.

It's not like you everhave to choose between...

No, no, no, as longas it's healthy.

(humming smugly)

♪ I can't wait to hearsomeone say ♪

♪ "Don't careif it's brain-dead ♪

♪ "Don't care if it's limblessif it has a penis" ♪

♪ Pregnant women are smug

♪ Everyone knows it,nobody says it ♪

♪ Because they're pregnant

♪ This Zen worldyou're enjoying ♪

♪ Makes you really annoying

So, is it a boy or a girl?

Oh, we know,but we're not telling.

What are you gonna name it?Oh, we know,but we're not telling.

Who's the father?

Oh, we know,but we're not telling.

(humming smugly)

♪ Bitch, I don't really care

♪ I was being politesince you have no life ♪

♪ Now that you're pregnant

♪ You say you'rewalking on air ♪

♪ You think that you're glowing,but you've been ho'ing ♪

♪ And now you're pregnant

♪ You're just givingbirth now ♪

♪ You're not Mother Earth now

Yeah, I have a lotgoing on.

I got my degree. I moved.I wrote a novel.

Gosh, you know,everything seems so trivial

now that I'm pregnant.

I also built thatnuclear fusion reactor.

You know, I can't evenreally remember what I did

before I was pregnant.

Everything just seemsso meaningless.

(whining)

♪ 'Cause pregnant womenare smu-ug ♪

♪ Everyone knows it

♪ Nobody says it

♪ Because they're pregnant

♪ Effing son of a guh-un

♪ You think you're so deep now

♪ You give me the creeps now

♪ Now that you're pregnant.

(applause)

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