Andy Haynes - Getting Engaged

Andy Haynes Season 2, Ep 13 06/14/2013 Views: 14,779

Andy Haynes has figured out that there's an effort discrepancy in the engagement process. (2:08)

So, uh, I got marriedlast weekend.


(crowd cheering)

That's for real.

That's for real for real.

Um, but I'm really gladto be married

'cause I did not likebeing engaged.

I did not like that at all.

Being engaged for a guy,getting engaged for a guy

is really kind of horse shit.

I don't know if you knew that.

'Cause here's what you have todo: you have to work a bunch.

You got to do all this work.

You got to workand work and work.

And then you got to saveall this money. Okay?

So you save all this money.

And then you haveto buy a diamond ring,

and then she has to say yesto a diamond ring, so...


Do you guys seea discrepancy in effort?

Do you see how one persondid a bunch of stuff

and the other person

just said yes to the mostvaluable elements on Earth?

And she wanted to get married.

That's like getting a prizefor getting what you wanted.

That doesn't make sense.I didn't get a prize.

I didn't get a Xbox or anal sex.

And I want something.

I don't care who it's with.


Guys, we used to get a dowry.

I don't know what happened.

When you liked a girl,her dad would come running over

to your house and he'd be like,

"How much moneydo I have to pay you

to get this bitchout of my life forever?"

And proposing isn't...isn't easy either, you know?

Proposing--you-you can't just propose.

You got to, like,surprise your girlfriend,

and that's noteven really enough.

You got to, like,punk them these days.

So I punked the shitout of my girlfriend.

I sent her on an errand,

and then I ran aroundthe other side of the block

and I hid, right?

And I had a ski mask

and a pistol,

and I robbed her, all right?

But then I took that money,

and I bought heran engagement ring, so...

Pretty romantic guy.I don't know.