Brian Scolaro - Sneezing

Ross, Kosta, Goldman, Boulger, Andre, Hoogasian, Scolaro Season 2, Ep 6 06/21/2007 Views: 13,158

Sneezing is the only thing that completely screws us up when it happens. (2:28)

we talked about orgasms.

My favorite noiseto come out of a human being

is a sneeze.

That's funnier than a fartand an orgasm shoved together.

Which I think would kill you--don't you think so?

If you were having sex,you're like... (farting)

I think just blood wouldcome out of your head

like a ketchup packet.

Anyway,sneezing is interesting, man,

'cause sneeze is the onlything that happens to everybody

that completely screws us upwhen it happens.

It always scaresthe hell out of you.

Even if you'renot the guy sneezing,

doesn't it always surprise you?

Always comes out of the blue.

Like... (sneezes).

What the hell was that man?

I sat next to this old ladyon the bus.

She sneezed 45 minutes.

It's a long time, man,45 minutes.

To be scaredover and over again.

There's a line between,"Gesundheit"

and "Shut the (bleep) up,old lady."


(continues sneezing)

Oh, my God...




Somebody shoot me, please!

Ever happen to you?

You ever sneeze like nine timesin a row

and you think you're goingto crap your pants or something?

Like... (sneezing)


(sneezing and farting)

Oh, help me, somebody help!Help!

That always happens to mewhen I'm driving.

Which is not when you wantto sneeze, man.

You don't want to sneezewhen you're driving.

You don't want your heartto stop

and your eyes to closesix times in a row.

Like, (sneezing).

Oh, (bleep)!

I'm like four lanes over.

What happened?


So people hold theminside, you know.

Some people keep themin here, just...


Like, "All right, man,are these your eyes?"

My dad sounds like he's gettingkilled with an axe or something.

Like, (yells).

What happened?

Dog runs under the tableterrified.

TV changes channels.

(chuckles)Let's out family secrets, like,

(sneezes)I'm gay.