Mark Twain - Uncensored

  • Season 1, Ep 5
  • 08/06/2013
  • Views: 18,716

After getting into hot water for his provocative writing in San Francisco newspapers, Mark Twain leaves town and finds inspiration for his first famous piece of literature. (2:12)

HE WAS A MASTER PROVOCATEUR.

HE STARTS TAKING ON,LIKE, THE LOCAL POLITICIANS

AND POLICE FORCE.

HE WOULD JUST, LIKE,TAKE JABS AT THEM

IN HIS WRITING FORLOCAL NEWSPAPERS AND [bleep].

HE WAS JUST LIKE, PFFT.OKAY, WHAT DO I DO NEXT?

MARK TWAIN [bleep] UP.

HE IS STRAIGHT UPA [bleep] AMERICA'S MOST WANTED.

AND HE GOES OUTTO THE MIDDLE OF [bleep] NOWHERE

AND HANGS OUT AT THE LOCAL[bleep] WATERING HOLE, SALOON.

THERE'S A GUYWHO'S HANGING OUT THERE

WHO CONSTANTLY SPINS YARNS.

OH, I GOT A STORY,MY NAME'S BEN COON,

AND I GOT A LITTLE STORYFOR YOU.

THEY'RE LIKE,[bleep] I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT.

I DON'T WANNA HEAR ITNO MORE.

I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

THERE'S MARK TWAINSITTING AT THE BACK OF THE BAR.

UH, I'LL [bleep] LISTEN.

BEN COON'S LIKE,FINALLY.

SOMEBODY'S GONNA [bleep] LISTENTO MY BULL[bleep].

SO HE'S LIKE,OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL.

THERE'S THESE TWO DUDES

ARE PITTING FROGSAGAINST EACH OTHER

IN A LEAPING CONTEST.

SO EVERYBODY ELSE IS JUST LIKE,GOD DAMN IT,

I'VE HEARD THIS [bleep] STORY100 TIMES.

AND ONE MAN SABOTAGESTHE OTHER MAN'S LEAPING FROG

BY FEEDING HIMLEAD-FILLED BUCKSHOT

SO THAT THE OPPONENT'S FROGCAN'T JUMP AS HIGH.

YEAH.

IT GETS THAT DIRTYIN THE FROG JUMPING WORLD.

ANYWAYS,MARK TWAIN'S JUST LIKE,

THIS IS AN AWESOME[bleep] STORY.

YES! I'M GONNA WRITEABOUT THIS [bleep].

MARK TWAIN GOES BACKTO HIS TYPEWRITER

OR WHATEVER THE [bleep]--HIS COMPUTER--

AND GOES, BRRRRR.

I'M GONNA TRANSCRIBE THISIN THIS DULLED-DOWN,

EVERYMAN'S STORYTELLING.

BANG!

THAT STORY GETS PICKED UPAND BECOMES A [bleep] HUGE HIT.

AND IT'S DESCRIBED AS"STORY OF THE DAY!"

MARK TWAINHAS HIT THE [bleep].

WHAT HE'S DONEIS AMA-ZING.

Loading...