Colin Quinn - Safari

DiPaolo, Barker, Kreischer, Giraldo Season 1, Ep 5 05/26/2004 Views: 10,984

Lions are a joke in Africa. (0:54)

(Colin Quinn)SO FIRST OF ALL,YOU GO TO SAFARI,

YOU'RE GONNA FIND OUTTHE LION IS A JOKE.

MAYBE THAT'S WHY THE TIGERSARE GETTING TOUGH OVER HERE

BECAUSE THE LIONS ARE NOTHING.

THEY'RE BIG OVER HERE,

IN AFRICA THE OTHERANIMALS LAUGH AT THEM.

THEY'RE LIKE IDIOTSWITH MULLETS.

I SWEAR TO GOD.

SO I GO OVER THERE ANDI THINK THE LION'S GREAT.

THEN I'M WATCHINGA FAMILY OF LIONS

AND, LIKE, AHIPPO PASSES BY.

SO I'M LIKE, OH,THEY'RE GONNA TEARTHIS HIPPO APART.

THEY WON'T EVENMAKE EYE CONTACT,

THEY'RE LOOKINGDOWN LIKE THEY DON'TEVEN SEE THE HIPPO.

HE'S LOOKING RIGHT ATTHEM LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW?

EXCEPT FOR THE CUBS THATDON'T KNOW ANY BETTER,

THEY'RE LIKE,"RAWWRRR."

AND THE LION'S LIKE..."SHUT THE (BLEEP) UP, MAN.

SHUT UP."IT'S LIKE... "WHY?

YOU SAID YOU WERE THEKING OF THE JUNGLE."

"WE ARE, THERE'S JUSTA LOT OF POLITICAL(bleep) RIGHT NOW.

I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER."

BUT THEN I GET HOME ANDMY FRIEND GOES TO ME...

I CAN'T PICTUREYOU ON SAFARI, COL.

HAHAHA.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I DON'T SEEM ATHLETICENOUGH TO SIT IN THE BACK

OF A JEEP AND LOOK ATA (bleep)ING ZEBRA?

I'M SORRY.