Arnez J - Getting Paddled

  • Season 7 , Ep 27
  • 08/28/2003
  • Views: 17,086

Back when Arnez J was in school, they were allowed to paddle you. (1:56)

IN SCHOOL THAT GOT IN TROUBLE.

YOU KNOW I WASN'T DISRESPECTFUL.

I WAS ONE OF THOSE KIDS THAT

JUST MOCKED EVERYBODY.

I NEVER KNEW HOW TO SIT STILL

IN MY SEAT.

YOU KNOW, AND I WAS ALWAYS JUST

A CLASS CLOWN.

TEACHER WOULD BE IN THE

CLASSROOM, "OKAY, CLASS, I WANT

EVERYBODY TO TURN TO PAGE 55."

"YEAH, OKAY, [MOCKING TEACHER]."

"WHO SAID THAT?"

"[MOCKING CONTINUES]."

"MR. J, I KNOW IT WAS YOU."

[MOCKING PHRASE]

AND BACK WHEN I WENT TO SCHOOL,

THEY WERE ALLOWED TO PADDLE YOU.

WELL, SHE SAID, "WE'RE GOING TO

GO INTO THE OFFICE RIGHT NOW."

I SAID, "[MOCKING PHRASE]."

HE SAYS, "MR. J, WHAT HAVE YOU

DONE THIS TIME?"

[MOCKING PHRASE]

I WAS STILL BEING A LITTLE

SMART MOUTH.

HE SAY "OH, OH, YOU THINK YOU'RE

FUNNY?"

(MOCKING PHRASE]

SO HE PULLS OUT THIS CUTTIN'

BOARD, ABOUT THIS LONG.

HE SAYS, "MR. J, BEND OVER."

I SAID, "SURE, WHATCHA GOING

TO DO WITH THAT?"

NOW HE HIT ME WITH THAT FIRST

LICK, "POW!"

OKAY, THAT'S COOL.

I'M LIKE, "IT DON'T HURT."

NOW, IT'S OKAY ON THE FIRST

LICK.

BUT THEN YOUR MEAT FAT STARTS

TO LOOSEN UP.

AND HE GAVE WITH NUMBER TWO--

"POW!"

[LAUGHTER]

"IT DON'T HURT."

AND YOU KNOW WHEN IT REALLY

HURTS IS WHEN YOU TRY TO MOVE

YOUR--

"LIKE BEND IT--"

"ON WHAT?"

"BEND OVER."

AND HE CAUGHT ME WHEN I CAME

BACK.

HE CAUGHT ME RIGHT THEN.

"POW!"

[LAUGHTER]

AND HE LOOKED AT ME.

"WHAT'S WRONG, CAN'T SAY

NUTTIN'?"

"YOU'RE A MONSTER."

AND THEN WHEN YOU GET HOME--

I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF YOU ALL

WENT TO SCHOOL WHERE THEY WERE

ALLOWED TO LICK YOU--

THEN WHEN I GOT HOME,

OH, MY GOD.

THEN I GOT IT FROM MY DADDY.

OH, MY GOD.

HE BEAT ME SO BAD UNTIL

I BOO-BOOED ON MYSELF.

I'M JUST--

HEY, THIS IS REAL LIFE.

PLEASE DON'T--

I MEAN I BOO-BOOED ON MYSELF.

I REALLY DID.

IT WASN'T FUNNY.

[LAUGHTER]

IS EVERYTHING OKAY WITH

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