Joe Mande - Invention of Cheese

Joe Mande Season 1, Ep 9 06/08/2012 Views: 5,603

Joe Mande imagines what life was like for the first man who made cheese. (1:44)

if you think about, and I'vethought so much about it.

I just feel likeit was the same guy.

Shows up to his friend's cave,like, a year later.

Just like, "Hey, guys,what's up?

"Look, I know some of youdon't approve

"of my lifestyle choicesand, uh, that's fine.

"Um, but do you remember,like, a year ago,

when I was telling youabout the boob-dick juice?"

"You d... oh, you do? Okay."

Well, um, needless to say, I'vebeen doing some experimenting,

and... just take thisor leave it,

but, uh, if you don't drinkthe juice right away,

which takes so much restraint,(chuckles)

but if you just squirt theboob-dick juice into a bucket

and then just leave thatbucket out for months,

like, way longer thanseems reasonable...

the juice is going to start tofester and discolor

and smell awful.

And these solid clumps are goingto lift to the surface.

But if you just strainthose clumps out

and put them upon a shelf to rot...

for months, and then eat it...(moans) it's so good.

It's so good.

Seriously, I eat thatevery morning.

I eat the boob-dick clumpsevery morning for breakfast.

I eat it with the, um,those chicken things.

Those food things that come outof a chicken's vagina.

No, that's food,I swear to God, that's food.

Seriously, just crack 'em open,

put the rottenboob-dick clump on top.

Put it on a bagel. Mmm.

There you go.That's just a loaf of bread

I turned into a circlefor no reason.

I don't know whyhe's Jewish at the end.