Uncensored - Dave Attell - Question for the Ladies

Dave Attell: Road Work 04/12/2014 Views: 61,562

Dave Attell gives the women in the audience some advice on how to really shake things up in the bedroom. (1:51)

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[laughter]

- LET'S THROW ONE OUTFOR THE LADIES.

NOW, IS SIZE IMPORTANT,LADIES?

- YES.- EXACTLY.

THAT WAS A LITTLE TOO QUICK.

ALL RIGHT.

BUT THERE'S SUCH A THINGAS TOO BIG, AM I RIGHT?

I MEAN, LIKE,IF IT'S BIG ENOUGH--

NO? WHO IS THIS GIRL?

[laughs]

WHO IS THIS GIRL ANDHOW IS SHE ABLE TO SIT DOWN?

THAT'S WHAT I WANNA KNOW.

LIKE, LET'S SAY HIS DICKWAS SNOW,

AND IT WAS SO BIG IT COULDCLOSE A SCHOOL.

WOULD THAT BE--[laughter]

I DID THAT ONEFOR THE SOUTH JERSEY PEOPLE.

NO? ALL RIGHT.

WOMEN ARE AMAZING, OKAY.

GOING DOWN ON A WOMAN--

DOES ANY GUY KNOWHOW TO DO THIS GOOD?

- NO.- WHO SAID THAT?

MISS, HOW COME YOU'RENOT SITTING UP FRONT,

AND THIS WALL OF HATEIS UP HERE?

[laughter and applause]

I DON'T KNOW WHATI'M DOING DOWN THERE.

THIS IS WHAT I DO, OKAY?

ARE YOU WITH ME?THIS IS WHAT I DO.

I PRETEND I'MIN A BANK ROBBERY, YEAH.

I GET LOW, I SHAKE, ANDI JUST WAIT FOR INSTRUCTIONS.

I'M LIKE, "MM-HMM. MMM."

[laughter and applause]

THANK YOU.YOU'VE BEEN TO A BANK.

YOU WOULD HAVE TO GO TO A BANKTO UNDERSTAND THAT.

[cheers and applause]

I ASSUME WOMEN LIKEWHEN A GUY DOES THAT, RIGHT?

HERE'S A FUN THINGTO DO NEXT TIME.

OKAY, NEXT TIME YOUR GUY GOESIN THAT AREA.

DO THIS, OKAY?IT'LL BLOW HIS MIND.

COME EVENTUALLY.

I MEAN, IT'LL JUST--YEAH, YEAH.

AS A GOOF, JUST AS A GOOF.

MOVE AROUND, BLINK,TWITCH, DO SOMETHING.

I MEAN, REALLY,I DON'T THINK A SEX ACT

SHOULD BE LONGER THANA CIVIL WAR REENACTMENT,

BUT THAT ONE IS.

IF YOU EVEN YAWN,I'LL HIGH-FIVE YOUR FOOT.

IT'S OVER, WE'RE DONE.

WE'RE WATCHING TV.

NICE.

[laughter]