Pete Holmes - Six-Foot-Six

Mata, Williams, Holmes, Smiley Season 9, Ep 912 08/20/2009 Views: 20,901

Pete Holmes envies little people. (1:13)

[LAUGHTER]

I'M GLAD I MADE IT. SOME OF YOU ARE EXCITED, TOO.

LIKE, "LOOK, IT'S PRINCE WILLIAM.

[LAUGHTER]

AND HE'S HUGE."

YEAH. I'M ACTUALLY SIX FOOT SIX, WHICH IS HARD.

'CAUSE THERE ARE THINGS A GUY MY SIZE CAN'T DO, YOU KNOW.

LIKE-- LIKE HIDE. YEAH, FROM KILLERS.

SOMEONE KICKED DOWN MY DOOR JUST LIKE,

"I'M GONNA KILL EVERYBODY I CAN SEE."

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S OVER.

LITTLE PEOPLE JUST POP INTO A COOKIE JAR.

HAVE A COOKIE. LIKE, "MY PEOPLEMAKE THESE IN A TREE."

SLIDE UNDER THE FRIDGE. YOU'RE SAFE.

ALL I CAN DO IS STAND REALLY STILL.

HOPE HE THINKS I'M ASTATUTE OF JOHN RITTER.

[LAUGHTER, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]