Uncensored - Brooks Wheelan - Owning a Sword

South Beach Comedy Festival 2013 Season 1, Ep 7 04/20/2013 Views: 2,672

Brooks Wheelan reveals his favorite thing to do with a sword. (1:20)

This is the dumbest thing Iever did guys.

I bought a sword on the Internetone time.

I bought a fucking sword off ofthe Internet.

And then I got it in themail and realized, hey,

how about we stopsmoking weed, man?

You're making somepretty questionable

choices in your life.

Because there's not a lot youcan use a sword for in 2013.

There's not a ton of swordactivities out there.

I don't know if you know that.

So I didn't know whatto do with the sword.

So I just would like walkaround the house with it.

And like, make my roommateschange the channel and shit.

I'd be like, turn the channel.

They'd be like, why?

I was like, becauseI got a sword, man.

But my favorite thingto do with it was I

would, uh, knightthe pizza delivery

men when they would roll in.

It would be great, man.

Because they would likeshow up at the door

and I would just belike, uh, kneel down.

And they'll listen,guys, because I

have a fucking sword in my hand.


People will listen to youwhen they're at your house

and you have a sword.

But they're all-- he's justalways like pretty surprised

with it.Like, oh, Jesus Christ.

Uh, I did not think thatthis was a possibility.

All right.

But I would knight them.

I would let them know.

I'd be like, I dubthee Sir Papa of John.