Jay Larson - Unfinished Basement

Jay Larson Season 15, Ep 15 03/11/2011 Views: 14,936

Jay Larson explains why rich kids with finished basements do not know about cement walls, pipes and fear. (1:56)

with an unfinished basement?

[cheers and applause]


How many people grew upwith a finished basement?

[cheers and applause]

Rich kids.

[audience laughing]

If you grew up witha finished basement,

you don'tknow fear.

You don't knowwhat it's about.

[audience laughing]

You don't know aboutcement walls, and pipes,

and a cracked window with alittle cat outside like, "Meow."

[audience laughing]

Leftover stuff from the peoplethat lived there before you.

You're like,"Mom, what is this?"

She's like,"Never mind!

"Get the Halloweendecorations!"

You're like, "butI'm scared, Mom."

"Get 'em anyway!"


She's a little different thanthat lady with the butterfly,

isn't she?

[audience laughing]

She doesn't want to godownstairs, either.

I used to remember goin'downstairs, we had a back room

that was all by itself,and I'd be doin' my laundry,

and every time I'd do mylaundry, I'd be like, "okay.

"I know there'sa guy in the back.

"He's on the landfrom jail right now.

"Just be cool--Just be cool.

"Nothing's wrong--Nothing's wrong.

"He doesn'tknow you know."

And I'd walk real slow, andI'd be like, "No big deal.

"No big deal."

And then when I got to thestairs, I'd be like, pfeww!

Right up top.

[audience laughing]

And I'd look down and belike, "not today, buddy!

"Not today!"


[cheers and applause]

Basements are scary.

Scary stuff.

You know whatelse is scary?


[audience laughing]

You know they're comin'for you, right?

I don't know when you had onelast, but there is one lurking.

It'll get ya--It's like a bloody nose.

You'll getanother one.

[audience laughing]

The scariest thingabout a-a nightmare.

It's your mind.

It's not likea scary movie.

Your mindcreates it.

You wake up, you're like, "whywas I flying with a witch?"

And then you're cryinglike, "I'm crazy."

[audience laughing]

Just me?