Kyle Kinane - Bag of Pancakes Pt. 3

Kyle Kinane: Whiskey Icarus Season 1, Ep 101 11/24/2012 Views: 11,770

In decent society, there is an unwritten rule about public pancake eating. (1:43)

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rips it open

with a confidence like, "Yeah,I'm eating all these bitches."

Rips it open,

starts rooting aroundin there,

doing this cotton-candy thing.

Rooting around,but he's not looking in the bag.

He's looking up and offinto the distance

with this look of glazeddetermination on his face.

The kind of look you only seeon the faces of people

that are neck-deepin swamp water

'cause they're gonna catcha catfish with their bare hands.

You know, just like--

"We gonna get 'em!"

Pulls his hand out,

he's got two or threejust in a grip, in a fist.

He's not going discreet,under the chin.

He's not going like,"Hey, I'm sorry for this,"

under the chin.

He's going over the top,

just, like,'93 Jordan layup style,

just, "Haa!"

Dropping 'em in,

then looking aroundwith an attitude

after each bite,like,

"Snack time,mother[bleep]!

Boom! Jealous much?"

Are you [bleep] me?

I'm a Delta Gold member.I gotta sit next to this?

No syrup?You go straight to hell!

'Cause I don't knowwhere you'd get syrup

in a situation like this.

Probably another bag, seeingas how this dude operates.

But even then, unwritten rulesof decent society state

you open upthat bag of syrup,

you pour it intoyour original bag of pancakes,

and you tie it offnice and tight

and shake it aroundfor even coverage.

'Cause you might be makinga bit of mess,

but at least peopleare like, "Well,

he's not gonna eat them dry,like a psychopath."