Edwin San Juan - Toughest Asians

Murphy, Dahle, San Juan, Waite, Rutledge, Patton, Haddish Season 4, Ep 4 11/06/2009 Views: 2,406

Koreans are the only Asians who will open up liquor stores in bad neighborhoods. (2:11)

Koreans are the toughest ones.


You know why?

In the hood, Koreansare the only ones

that open liquor stores.

Filipinos-- no, Japanese-- no,Chinese-- no.

Koreans has got it sewn up.

Remember the riots in L.A.?Koreans were on the rooftop.

"Oh, no, don't take from mystore." (imitates gunshot)

"I see you with 40 ounce.(imitates gunshots)

Oh, don't try to take Kool-Aid."

(rapid gunshots)

"Oh, no, that's Mr. Johnson!

"He the A-number-one customer.

Ching Wa, get Band-aid,aisle four."


Chinese people always messedmy name up

when I was growing up.

My name's Edwin.They called me Heroin.

They'd try to say, "Hey, Edwin."

"Hey, Heroin.


I'm like, "Shh."

"Yo, what you need, dawg?What you need?"

You know what younever see today?

Chinese construction workers.You ever notice that?

You never seeChinese construction workers.

'Cause after buildingthe Great Wall of China,

and working on the railroads,

they're like, "Hell, no!

No more construction."

Chinese people will cook,they'll clean, they'll fish,

but they won't hammer,they won't saw.

They don't even let their kidswatch Bob the Builder.

I bought my Chinese friend,his little brother, some Legos.

You know what he built?A wall.

His uncle almosthad a heart attack.

(gasping in horror)

"You okay?We're going to Wal-Mart."


(with accent):Oh, thank you, thank you.

You ever goto a Chinese restaurant,

try to out-thank the waiter?

It's impossible. Next time youeat Chinese, I dare you.

Try to out-thank the waiter.You can't do it.

"Thank you very much."

"Oh, no, thank you very much."

"No, seriously, thank you."

"No, seriously, thank you."

Try to whisper it:"Thank you."

(whispering)"Oh, no, thank you."

I was driving home.I got a text message.

"Thank you. Thank you."

This guy is great!