David Alan Grier - Love

Pulp Comics: David Alan Grier Season 1, Ep 6 03/24/1998 Views: 845

There's nothing better than that 90-day honeymoon period. (3:11)

>> I made it out of college.

I met somebody.

I got married.

Yeah, we've been together

for ten years.

Actually, I just had

a anniversary,

so that was really great,

ten years together.

Thank you.

Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

Thank you so much.

Thanks a lot.

I need your support because

we got a divorce.

Hey, you know, hey, we tried,

you know what I'm saying?

It's cool, though.

It's cool.

I mean, I don't look bitter,

do I, you know?

A lot of guys harbor their pain

and not me, you know.

I just hope my ex-wife can just

get on with her life!

You know what I mean?

[breathing heavily]

>> Breathe.

>> Thank you, man, thank you.

Thank you, man.

But you know what the best part

of any relationship is?

When you first meet somebody,

isn't it?

That's always the best.

Everything is fresh and new.

I don't care how old I get,

the first time I see a woman

I'm with butt-naked, ooh, ooh,

look what I'm 'bout to get.

Ohhhh, yes.

Oh, isn't that great?

I can't--oh, it's wonderful.

It is wonderful.

And they call that first period

when you fall in love,

it's called the honeymoon

period.

You get about 90 days free.

You do.

That means that you can't see

the other person's faults.

No matter what kind of evidence

you're presented with,

you just ain't buyin' it.

It's like we all had friends

that fell in love with somebody

that wasn't right for them.

And you try to warn these people

during this period.

They can't hear you.

It's like, "Yo, man, I'm trying

to tell you something.

Man, I seen that girl's face on

America's Most Wanted, man."

It's like, "Yo, that's my boo.

I'm gonna stick with her, okay?

We all make mistakes."

It's like, fellas, you could be

with your girlfriend.

She could take her shoes off

during this period,

feet kickin',

like 20 miles of

skint back mule ass.

But to you, her feet smell like

a fresh spring day

'cause you in love.

You in love.

You in love.

Oh, and sex?

Oh, man.

When you first start having sex,

isn't it great?

10, 15, 20 times a day,

just tapping that booty,

aren't you?

You don't need no excuses,

no foreplay.

You just tappin' that ass.

It's wonderful.

5:00 a.m.--Blah-dow!

I'll see you in about five

minutes, baby.

[whistling gleefully]

"David, where are you going

for lunch?"

"I'm going home."

[whistling]

It is great in the beginning.

It is wonderful.

You play those little sex games.

"Hey, girl.

[snickering]

I got something for you!

What's long and brown

and a quarter of a pound?"

Oh, you are deep in it,

aren't you?

But then one day,

all the lovin' stops.

Foreplay is reduced

to two words:

"Roll over.

You ain't got to take your

flip-flops off, baby.

The game is on.

Unh!"

[sputtering]

What happens?

What happens?

We do not honor our lovers.

That's what happens.